Women and Grace

Copyright2011 Danise Codekas

Women are trying so hard to balance things now. Our personal, spiritual, and career lives are intertwined and stretching all the time.

Bodies' health, bills, cleaning house, keeping and making friends, communicating with family and mostly, just, dreaming about what the next indicated step is part of our journey. Finances, lovers and dreams are part of our crescendo.

I have a lot of things going that are challenges. Reducing, reviewing and re-purposing years' worth of papers, manuscripts and music, for instance. 

I wrote a lot of music over the years, and when I bought my new, handmade electric guitar from the incredible designers in Mexico, I began writing music again. 

The Roland Electric piano and software I have is making it easy to record, edit and put down digital recordings of these songs, written over the years. 

When I lived in San Fran and Santa Barbara, I met, dated and hung out with a lot of musicians, recording studio owners and record producers. I also sailed a lot. So, two passions of mine were equally satisfied over the years. I took classical guitar lessons from Sophocles Pappas when I lived on Dupont Circle in D.C.

Writing music has also come naturally to me, ever since I took piano and classical guitar lessons. I hated reading music and practicing, over and over again, the songs of my teachers.

So, I began writing my music and words that arose out the vast unconscious, which we all draw upon for our creations. It was easy. Let alone the intense, travel logged life I lead and led, writing music drew from the experiences, and tell my story in a different way than writing books or blogs do now.

When I lived in San Francisco, I spent a lot of time in clubs, or walking the street late at night, gathering posters off walls and telephone poles of the bands playing around town. One of my boyfriends rented large abandoned buildings, for the night, south of Market, and would put together musical extravaganzas, where hundreds of people would show up, pay 20$ and dance the night away.

Byron became well known in the music underground, and even more so famous in the LA music producer milieu. He was the connect between bands and agents, or bands and producers, but mainly between musicians and new fans. 

I saw the best and worst of what a music life could be for someone, on their way up or on their way down. I met assholes and prophets, clear-sighted stars and stars who were so in love with themselves, that their ego's destroyed relationships and connections.

The one thing that impressed me were the musicians who practiced, wrote, and lived their passion. There are some who simply had the genius for playing and writing, but not the desire to live the demanding musician's life.

There has never been a time in my life when music was not a part of it. Never a time when listening to someone strumming out their heart strings, or me, trying to put together some chords, that I was unhappy with the gift of music. All types or musicians and singers, in a lot of different countries, in many unusual and remarkable voices, has moved and inspired me. Dancing was always the inevitable response to those sounds, over the years.

Yes, women have a lot of decisions to make about all the possibilities in our lives. 

The International Day of Women says a lot about us. Is there an international Day of Men, also? There should be, since they make up the balance to female energy. The Yin and Yang for creation can only be with both acknowledged and respected.

Holding, this perfect guitar, in my hands, made by two Mexican brother savants, makes me forget everything going on in my paradoxical life, other than what comes from the strumming, creating,  and words coming into my consciousness, for the music. Writing and playing music, on the guitar, piano, organ or harmonica, is  a musical massage for my brain and heart. 

I cannot explain it except that I know, like writing, painting, and photography, in my moments of creation, all that exists is me and the creating.How do I exist in a world of such incredible amazements, without bowing to the power which sustains me? 

Once, when meeting Marianne Williamson, she said something that helped me realize the power of the gifts and passions, I carry around in my heart, and frustrations,I experience, when my art, writing or music does not feel as if it is complete in expressing my awareness. 

"There is often hidden power in the times when nothing seems to be happening at all. The times when the material world takes less precedence are times when the holy has time to breathe."

We all have been breathing for a long time. Sometimes, when doing my Yoga, I forget about my body. Forget I am a cellular form and feel part of that which is beyond human understanding. When I have that same experience, writing or playing music, I am in the flow of that at-one-ment with all that is. 

Those are the times, when I bounce back into my body, I realize, that what I have just written or played is the finest part of me, the part which came about from the past, and which will remain true and good into eternity. 

Women and Life are ever changing. Nothing which comes of anger or hatred is uplifting for the rest of the human race. As much as the arguments and lack of communication exists between men and women, there is always a way to bridge the other side, without ego, and with love and compassion. Trying to make someone love you, regard you, respect you is foolish. Retribution, revenge and hatred drain everyone on the planet. 

Nurturing your soul does not arise from others' lives, lips or ideas, if your heart is not ready to accept who you are and what your purpose on earth is now. Acting from that purpose, jumping into the life you want to live can only come from a sense of what you wish to give to the world. What you want to share which can help, heal and uplift others, on this planet. 

There are women and men who have caused me pain, anger and excruciating painful circumstance. There are situations which I have lashed out against over time and in my writings. I cannot apologize for those feelings however I can grow from them and realize I called those experiences into my life in order to evolve. 

Hopefully, each day, I pray, to evolve into a more compassionate woman. A woman without guile, with more perception of the pain I see in the world, and able to diminish its necessity on the planet. Today is a better day than yesterday and if, you cannot say that tomorrow, you must look into your heart and touch that part which is still fearful so others can experience the grace of your being.