Writers and Cobras

©2012 Danise Codekas

Surely all art is the result of one's having been in danger, of having gone through an experience all the way to the end, to where no one can go any further. (Rainer Maria Rilke)

When I was looking for inspiration today I came across a book by Elizabeth George, Write Away. Elizabeth has won all types of writing awards from France, Germany and the US. I remember one statement she made which goes something like, ideas are alive if you are awake to them.

With all the input we receive daily from people and experiences in our lives, Internet info, Twitter and Facebook communications, sometimes it is difficult to follow a random thought, a good idea, with all the overload we accumulate.

Daily I write 1500 words. Twitter or Facebook does not count.  Sometimes the ideas are not coherent, sexy or a fount of knowledge. I do not edit or feel guilty when I am done, and should, at life's end, someone come across the millions of words scribbled, over my lifetime, I ask they burn them, if they read any of them at all.

As I meet new people, I wonder sometimes if they are the type of person who would enjoy reading any of my dribbles. There are some people, I have encountered, who I would prefer they not read anything I wrote.

There are very many people who have become friends across the Internet, with me. People I would enjoy spending time with, over a meal, or even travel with for a while.

-Letters to a Young Poet
May you gain more and more confidence in what is difficult and in your solitude among other people. (Rainer Maria Rilke)

 

Writers are solitary personas, for parts of their lives. Closing a door, sitting down and writing in silence, for hours, can be wearing on another person, who lives with you.

On the other hand, relationships survive, because one of the partners is an artist. I have never lived with a man, in an intimate relationship, who I could write around. Writing Time was something that was interruptible;  my request that one had to wait, until I was done, with the next sentence or page, met with resistance.

I didn’t know myself, well enough then, as an artist. I also did not realize how deeply an artist feels passion and drive, when they are creating. I do now and could live with another artist, or visionary or creator, since I understand the need to close the door, and travel to a far off location alone, in the mind or physically. I am not afraid to close a door, nor for someone to walk out a door to pursue the Muse.

What we call fate does not come into us from the outside, but emerges from us. (Rainer Maria Rilke)

However, the patience to endure interruptions was a lesson I needed to learn. Life happens and interruptions bring me to amazing adventures, more and more. I do understand the need for attention. We all want attention, sometimes.

I am also a photographer and think nothing of stopping the car, or changing a flight because there is something drawing me to that location, that vista, that opportunity to meet a mystic, healer or a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Rushing around a country, trying to see every museum or natural wonder is not comfortable for me. Can I do it? Yes, and I have within groups, or with one other person.

Trained as a communications sociologist, an urban anthropologist, demand I sit in a cafe, on a public square and watch or begin conversations with the person at the next table. How else do you gain a perspective, of where you are at, if you do not engage in conversations with strangers?

“When you look at some faces, you can see the turbulence of the infinite beginning to gather to the surface. This moment can open in a gaze from a stranger, or in a conversation with someone you know well. Suddenly, without their intending it or being conscious of it, their gaze lasts for only a second. In that slightest interim, something more than the person looks out.” –John O’Donohue, Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom.

I once was on a trip to Southern India, with 15 people. One of them was a nurse, who had never been to India. During the flight and overnights in Thailand and Calcutta, she told people that cobras could crawl up pipes into toilets.

Part of the travel adventure for me is observing what other people, around me do, when confronted with unexpected events on the road. The loss of a passport, the cancellation of a flight, injuries requiring medical assistance, and, being stopped by military troops and questioned.

Watching her preconceived ideas take root in some of the group members' minds, was disconcerting, as she was injecting fear without cause and dimming the fun for a few. As karmic payback goes, I was able to witness her reaction, when a village boy, with a large woven basket, removed the top and held it up to her, as she sat in a human-pulled rickshaw. She would not walk, in the village streets, because of the possible diseases from refuse.

Her fear of snakes was realized when an entrancing, black cobra, raised its body above the basket lip, and hissed in her face. Screaming, at the boy, and the man pulling her rickshaw, she escaped  from black cobra and smiling village boy.

I stood their mesmerized, looking at the Cobra. A group of village men gathered round the boy and me, quickly.  He dumped black Cobra, in the dirt, before me.Cobra began hissing, which sounded like a low growl of a dog, and I stopped breathing.

I was a captive, in ancient Phoenician, Celtic, Egyptian and Hindu myths, as the Cobra’s black scales glistened in the sunlight, staring at me, possessing me, and probably part of my soul, too. Incredible moments. I saw its soul, too. Yes, that serpent had a soul and it is expressed in its eyes. Like all creatures, yes?

It began undulating to the hand movements, of one of the men.  I was awestruck as it expanded its neck, wider and wider. It coiled and danced up to my knee height,  and then it stopped and we stared at one another, neither of us moved.

The little boy touched my arm, as he bent down and gathered this sentient being, of ancient history. Boy asked, "you are not afraid? You like?" All I could do was nod my head and smile back.

Consciousness returned slowly. The village men spoke, then began laughing, about "the other American lady" who ran away.

Still in a bit of a trance, I asked why were they laughing.  Seems, the Cobra had its poison sacs removed/milked when it was young. It became the village's good luck charm, the embodiment of King Cobra. It could bite, but its venom, which is enough to kill 20 humans, or one elephant, was not present. It was the village pet.

This is in the end the only kind of courage that is required of us: the courage to face the strangest, most unusual, most inexplicable experiences that can meet us. (Rainer Maria Rilke)

Hindus in India celebrate Nagpanchami, on July 30th.Snake God, fascinated me and I find myself, wishing to go to the Ajanta Caves, which are a UNESCO World Heritage Site. Snake God is represented throughout the caves. Bruno Poppe has taken incredible pictures of the Ajanta caves. This link directs you to his gallery, at the UNESCO site: http://whc.unesco.org/en/list/242/gallery/

Later, that afternoon, while enjoying siesta time, with 3 German travelers, on my hotel balcony, the hotel manager and his wife joined us.

I retold my morning adventure story, and the Indian couple began laughing, when they heard about the nurse's belief that cobras would crawl up sewer lines, into toilets. Screens are installed in the water pipes. Cobras do swim, however, they cannot live in water. They like trees, branches and grass. They are the only reptile that builds nests.

Yet, that night, upon awakening, I did crawl to the end of my bed and jump across the floor, to the bathroom, with trepidation.King Cobras' power and powerful eyes, shall remain in my memory, forever. Yes, there was a bit of love shared with the Cobra. He was magnificent and a tribute to the power that creates life.

“The heart is the inner face of your life. The human journey strives to make this inner face beautiful. It is here that love gathers within you. Love is absolutely vital for a human life. For love alone can awaken what is divine within you. In love, you grow and come home to your self. When you learn to love and let yourself be loved, you come home to the hearth of your own spirit. You are warm and sheltered.” –John O’Donohue, Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom.

TV Interview Surprise

©2012 Danise Codekas

Surprised, today, when NBC Affiliate News, Channel 4, in Albuquerque, interviewed me. Don’t know if it will air at 5PM or later tonight. On the other hand, the news director could pull the spot. I just hope the cameraman did not include my hips in the shots. I look horrible on video tape, at least I always thought so. However, I did give a good interview about the advantages for me, in the New Mexico job market, as a Writer/Editor.

Life is sweet sometimes and glad I pulled myself out of the house this morning. Wanted to stay home and write, since the deadline for the poetry book looms darkly ahead. I cannot get over the internal voice that keeps pushing me to finish these 2 books.

I am an Op-Ed columnist for www.thenewandroid.net, so, I also need to finish the next editorial piece, I’ve been researching.

As I move closer to finishing, and away from the fear factor of you reading a book of poetry and a non-fiction work, about MEN, events happen which help to support me. I accept the fact that both of these books are going to be published, soon.

Probably the same mix of attempt at perfection and time to release it, for anyone who is creative and re3ady to move onto the next project. Started outlining the next book, already.

You get to the point where you let it roll and the only thing that can adjust your focus is a surprise, or a visit from someone you are not expecting.

I do not think that at this time I can say there are no worries, following me across the Sandia Mountains, however, I will say there is a sense of being in the right place, for now. Especially after being the swimming pool on Sunday. Lord, I love to swim and that water was perfect temperature. A pool does cut down on missing being around the Pacific Ocean.

Last night had a call from a friend who offered me a place back in the Pacific NW, if I want to head back there. My response was “thanks”. For now I need to pursue whatever I am doing here.

There is nothing I can add to this realization except there is no indication, internally, to move on. The next indicted thing has not arisen on my path. Whatever there is here for me to absorb, whoever it is I am here to meet, whatever work I am to do here to expand my life and sense of well-being, well, those things are in process now.

There is a recording tape running in my mind, for all that I am seeing and hearing here in the Southwest. The only judgment I have reached here is I miss water, large bodies of water.

 

Just Rolling In The Deep is playing (a propose)  on one of my favorite Hilo stations, KKBG-FM.

Synchronicity becomes the norm now, for me and I hope,  for many of you. The right place, at the right time. You cannot plan it, however, you do need to be open to follow that little voice in your head, when it tells you to get up, go down that street, wait and speak to this stranger, pack your bags and go, get in touch with that person on-line.

You know that voice. It is you, talking, you know. In that head of yours, however, motivated by something in the area of your gut and heart. Jump on it. You get a moment, sometimes, before it disappears in the ethers.

I would love to get some technical writing, documentation work soon, so I can continue writing without worrying about…well, you know.

A challenge is what I hope to find in the work environment,  with some good people who are dedicated and working on projects which are intriguing and powerful change factors in the world. Have wanted to work on a space project, like SpaceX or Virgin Galactic, for a long time. Nothing in my field, yet.

I guess that seat on a trans-planetary flight draws me in. Too bad the Concorde stopped flying. To see the curvature of the earth would have been a lifetime memory.

Don’t fall into depression for too long, or dissatisfaction with this work you are involved with now. Look at it as a leap to the next level of your creativity. It sucks when you cannot see the sky because of the clouds. That is the way it is sometime. At least, if you can see the cloud cover, you know you are close to coming through, the other side of the cloud.

Synchronicity and unplanned events are all coming into our lives now. The speed they arrive astounds me, when I let go of preconceived ideas as to how my plans are to be carried out. Things happen in universal time and conditions. I forget that I am carbon-based, physical being, not just mind and gut.

I am working on 3 chakras, now. My 2nd, 3rd and 5th. Here is a guide from www.mindbodygreen.com which explains where I am opening, blocking, and the issues surrounding the 3 chakras I am dealing with in a new location, a new lifestyle, initiated 2 months ago. I know how to keep balanced, after years of training, with the Tibetan monks and other wise beings.  Maybe you should think about what is tightening up in your body, the area that tightening is experienced, and see what it means based on the insert below.

Being conscious of the effects, of your daily life and thoughts,  in your body and psyche, and relating it to one of the 7 areas below, might help you understand what is going on at another level of consciousness. Don’t laugh. I know some of you like to make fun of this stuff, however, it was written about thousands of years before you re-appeared on the planet.

1. Root Chakra - Represents our foundation and feeling of being grounded.
Location: Base of spine in tailbone area.
Emotional issues: Survival issues such as financial independence, money, and food.

2. Sacral Chakra - Our connection and ability to accept others and new experiences.
Location: Lower abdomen, about 2 inches below the navel and 2 inches in.
Emotional issues: Sense of abundance, well-being, pleasure, sexuality.

3. Solar Plexus Chakra - Our ability to be confident and in-control of our lives.
Location: Upper abdomen in the stomach area.
Emotional issues: Self-worth, self-confidence, self-esteem.

4. Heart Chakra - Our ability to love.
Location: Center of chest just above heart.
Emotional issues: Love, joy, inner peace.
More on Heart Chakra healing

5. Throat Chakra - Our ability to communicate.
Location: Throat.
Emotional issues: Communication, self-expression of feelings, the truth.

6. Third Eye Chakra - Our ability to focus on and see the big picture.
Location: Forehead between the eyes. (Also called the Brow Chakra)
Emotional issues: Intuition, imagination, wisdom, ability to think and make decisions.

7. Crown Chakra - The highest Chakra represents our ability to be fully connected spiritually.
Location: The very top of the head.
Emotional issues: Inner and outer beauty, our connection to spirituality, pure bliss.
--excerpt from http://www.mindbodygreen.com

Well, need to get back to the ranch to get ready for my Albuquerque film debut, on Channel 4, this evening. Jeeze, my hair was a mess, too, and I forgot they were filming and just went on and on. Thank you, UC Berkeley for all those TV film/video classes, I had to take and made videos for… I Forgot everything about on-screen delivery.

What Are You Waiting For?

©2012 Danise Codekas

Strange time for many of you. Glad to see I am not alone in these transitions taking place in my life, and mind. My ideas about myself are changing.

My reactions to situations, have changed in the last 3 months, as my life moves forward, even though to some, my life appears to be stalled in a cosmic paradigm, they cannot relate to. A parting of the ways for many of us now, yes? 2012, huh?

It was never going to be the end of the physical world. It is an end time, as written about,  and predicted in numerous indigenous cultures, in futuristic prophecy, and religious writings.

(photo credit-Great Salt Lake,Scott Stringham)

What I was not prepared for, and perhaps you, too,  was that our beliefs about ourselves, our work, families, friends, geographic locations on the planet, have been challenged, removed as possibilities or realities, in my case, and replaced by deep, personal introspection which leads to actions, unexpected, and upheaval, to that which was the norm of our lives.

There are moments when I do not know what to do, so I wait for those moments to pass. It is not a time to hold back your wishes and desires until the right time. The time is now to fulfill them, seek them out. Create our new lives. This moment in universal evolution is for us to kick off the old skins, and blast , physically, into the unimaginable wonder of our desires.

I put my head down, close my eyes and take a breath. Sitting here at the Flying Star, opening my eyes, realizing I am here for a non-profit event for the Corrales Library Fund. 10% of all our dinner purchases, tonight, are donated to the library.

What I like about the Corrales Library is that it is self-supporting, funded by the residents of Corrales, NM. It is not part of the county or state library system. A private library, located in a wonderful, Southwestern, architectural conformation, which has been through a number of design enhancements, as the years pass.

Independence is a highly respected and rampant demeanor  demonstrated by the neighbors of Corrales, NM. The way the community supports one another, in the artists’ ability to survive and their studios, and the way business is conducted, whether purchasing a pottery business, started decades ago, or selling property, which is mostly farm land, ranches, wineries and adobe homes.

I did find a wonderful ranch/home in Los Ranchos de Albuquerque, when I got lost driving to the Albuquerque Museum of Art. And the bonus of getting lost in the villiage of Los Ranchos was finding out that their Lavender Festival is this weekend, along with the dinner dance and auction, Friday night. Lavender Festival Los Ranchos de Albuquerque.

Lavender farming, and production  is one of my passions,  and I travel to France  to spend time in the fields, of Grasse and Eze, to learn about the different uses and growing methods,  and observe perfume production. My next trip to Europe will include a sojourn to Corsica, to live and learn about organic, lavender farming,  for a few weeks. Corsica has a high number of flower and herb farms, and organic growers populate the island off the coast of Nice.

I lived about 100 miles , SE of Sequim, WA. which is the largest, lavender production farm area, in the US. This proximity to the farms, over the past years, has helped me to observe and learn a little about lavender farming.

The Sequim Lavender Festival is next weekend, July 20-22, 2012:  http://www.lavenderfestival.com/lavenderfest.html .

There may be no hotels available, as people come in from all over the world, to see new production equipment, observe growing methods, and discuss the politics of farming, water and government restrictions around the world.

Anything you can imagine using organic lavender for, including coffee, ice cream and wine is there for sale at the farms,with great bands, and some of the best crab in the world. Dungeness is a few miles west of Sequim. Yes, Dungeness Crab!

Sequim also has many organic wineries in the area. It is a ferry ride away from Victoria, BC., and sits at the base of the Olympic National Park. Here are some festival pics, http://www.lavenderfestival.com/maingallery

The discordance of the blog, today, I don’t apologize for, as there is a point. Wherever I go, in the world, there is always someone I meet along the way, or an event that is happening, which puts me in touch with myself, and restores a sense of balance to my solo travelling show. Finding out that lavender farming is here, and thriving, leads me to believe that there is another reason I am visiting this area, that was totally unexpected. Lavender connects me to earth. This earth.

“Good girls like myself need subversion. Being solemn, I aspire to comedy. Being a novelist, I aspire to the musical. Being organized, I aspire to luminous chaos. Loving the power of grammar and the fine distinctions of language, I seek the part of the mind I didn't know was there, the part 'sheer,' 'no-man fathomed,' 'cliffs of fall.” --― Janet Burroway

At this time in my life, this is what I am doing. I am living in the Santa Fe area, meeting people, writing, spending time capturing nature and art in photos, and trying to find some great people to work with, while I am here.

Footloose, would be the correct description, yet I am more in tune with my heart and my work, than ever before. Writing becomes impossible to ignore, for one day. One of my favorite quotes about writing:

“Writing isn’t hard; not writing is hard.”—Janet Burroway. Andre Dubus III appends, “that is only true if you’re a writer.”

So, I hope you understand what I need to do now. You will, if you are feeling like walking out that door, jumping in the car or a plane seat,and going where you a dreaming of now.

You can visit if you feel like heading this way. We can have dinner and watch the Sandia Mountains fade into the moonlight.

“Don't dread. Do.”-Janet Burroway

Ground-Hitched? Yes or No?

©2012, Danise Codekas

“My turning point was my pilgrimage to Santiago de Compostela. It was then that I, who had dedicated most of my life to penetrate the 'secrets' of the universe, realized that there are no secrets. Life is and will always be a mystery.”--Paulo Coelho

 

The last thing any of us want to see is unexpected, unplanned change occur in our lives. We have desires that supersede anything the universe has in store for us.

(Photo-Moab,UT. Store closed years ago, by owner, and no one is allowed to enter to remove items from shelves.)

We are humans and since the beginning of time have thought we should be able to control our environment, execute our plans without interference, and see successful completion of our work. Is this is a healthy outlook?

I do not think so.

 

 

Photo-Moab,Williams Drug Co,1902-1956

Sometimes surprises arrive in our lives, without reason.

Awareness that they will occur should be kept in the Wise Section of your Pandora’s box. The last thing left in her  jar (box) was Hope.

All the possible good, by some accounts, were set free, out of man’s controlling hands forever. So, we struggle for those things that bring us joy and sustenance. And battle the unknowns.

There are times when what we desire , arrives, only to be questioned, denied and, at times, let go.

(Photo-Moab, Originally Williams Drug Co., as it sits today, Closed. Would love to open a Bistro and Wine Bar, here. Wouldn’t you?))

 

 

 

 

 

You can see that in your relationships, work, and even the car you just bought. To just accept things as they are takes practice.

I pay attention when a stranger interrupts my musing and says something which, although it might sound crazy, could be a trigger to a belief, or ego-centered liability, I am ignoring. Who would I be if I let go of the self-centered ideas I have about myself? Who would you be?

Labels we append to our names, like author, publisher, psychologist, inventor, politician are not who we are, but where we direct our energy and creativity. Stripped of all labels, who are you?

The adjectives we believe about ourselves: good person, honest, kind, loving,  are for the present moment only. Threatened, abused, or lied about, ignites other thoughts, not so kind, that we direct toward the perpetrators. So, the forgotten labels are revived?

Sometimes, not knowing why you are here on the planet, creeps into the mind, and who are you, now? Nothing but flesh and bones? Where does that type of consistent thought process lead? To destruction of our lives, suicide, committing atrocities against others? Sometimes.

If I were to list the horrible news of the day, which creep across the headlines, the intriguing destruction of the Holmes-Cruise marriage by religious differences, for instance, I remind myself to look behind the story to see what is really happening, in the world which is camouflaged by the Scientology-Cruise conflagration.  Is it a reflection of what we, as co-existing beings on this planet, are experiencing at some level, in our own lives?

One of the best movies, I viewed,  during the Clinton-Lewinsky reveal , was Wag The Dog. http://nyti.ms/OeTXiv

Layers upon layers of revelations occur everyday around us and in our lives. The wife that awaits her husband return, at night, and tells him she is leaving because she knows he is unfaithful. Surprise? Sure. Denials, recriminations, hours of arguing and finally, both give up and go their separate ways. I have seen it and always am surprised that the partner who is unfaithful is surprised to be found out.

The woman who begins a flirtation at the office, which morphs into a relationship, and the partner who begins to feel that something is wrong, yet, cannot see the truth of the situation. Why do we put each other through these games? Do we think we can win, by deceit?

Yes, I know, some do win. However, I believe in paybacks from the universe. Not by the same person who was deceived, but in another situation, at another time.

Walking away from our desires, our dreams can be difficult, yet always another arises, doesn’t it? Another dream may include the old desire, with new wisdom garnered on how to procure it, with the awareness that anything can arrive from the universe, with surprise.

(Photo- On Road to Puye Cliff Dwellings, NM)

“The two worst strategic mistakes to make are acting prematurely and letting an opportunity slip; to avoid this, the warrior treats each situation as if it were unique and never resorts to formulae, recipes or other people's opinions.”--Paulo Coelho

 

 

The second language I learned was Latin. Wise, in Latin is translated as  Sapiens, sensible, and Prudens, prudent. To be wise, in Latin, is also Peritus, experienced. So a wise person is sensible, prudent and experienced. My third language was French, and wise can be translated as sage, prudent and discreet. Spanish, my fourth, translates wise as Sabiduria, having common sense.

Where am I going with this? It comes down to basics, doesn’t it? Listen to the inner voice, connected to your heart. Don’t turn the anger into fear, or visa versa. Figure out what you want, need, and make your needs known. Do not live in silence with another. No one can read your mind or your heart.

True, there are some incredible sages, yogis and saints on the planet who can tap into you with remarkable wisdom. However, you have to be open enough to want to hear that information laid before you. That takes courage and what you do with the information, which another can help you to see in you, is up to you. Free-will universe.

(Photo-Ladder Climb Out of Puye to Mesa Top)

“Freedom is not the absence of commitments, but the ability to choose--and commit myself to--what is best for me.”--Paulo Coelho

 

 

 

There are times in my life when I do not know what to do, so I wait, I write, and try not to be overcome with what other’s think, I should be doing with my life. I fail, have failed and will continue to challenge myself, and fail again. It is part of the trek across the cosmos, up one ladder and down another.

Not every road I take leads me to Nirvana, or the bucket of gold at the end of the rainbow. However, to not take a step, once I can lift my foot and proceed, would be to battle myself, and that is just stupid.

Those footprints in the sand, you left at the last beach, or on a ladder in a high desert mesa, are gone now. Your energy entered that space and will always be reflected in those particles of sand and crystal remaining behind.

You and I cannot live every moment of our lives remembering every thing we say, do, think and traverse, are affected by our presence, unless you’re a physicist or a yogi. That is how powerful we are as beings in the cosmos.

I like the Spanish verb mistificar, to perplex. That is what life is doing to us, every day, perplexing us. In doing so, we are inspired, led down pathways which call to us, talking to strangers who share a phrase which sparks a self-inquisition, and nudge us to walk through the challenge before us.

Or, we find the answer and accept its meaning in our lives. Hence, you and I will find, hopefully,  life to be esse in pretio, (to be prized) as the historian Livy (59 B.C.-A.D. 17) and the poet,  Ovid ( 43 B.C.-A.D. 17) agreed upon.

Unfortunately, Ovid was banned to a fishing village on the Black Sea and died there, and Livy remained a friend of Emperor Augustus. Two different men, yet both believing life is to be prized.

So, whatever is wreaking havoc in your life right now, take a deep breath and try to discern if you should be looking for a different way, a new place to go, a release of whatever it is you are holding on to which is keeping you stuck.

Sometimes you have to let go, or stop trying to change those things, or people, who do not understand who you are now. Look at what is before you, not what is behind you. Remain in present time. If you want to remain ground-hitched, there is nothing to do but wait.

 

(Ground-hitched describes a horse standing as though hitched with reins on the ground. Horses are trained this way out here in the Southwest, and don’t be surprised to have to walk back to the corral, without the horse) Surprise.

Independence: Into the Unknown

© 2012, Danise Codekas

So, if the planet is dying, are you going to grab a seat to an outer planet? Been thinking about the possibility, that is now a reality, the more flights and advances SpaceX makes, as a private, commercial carrier into outer space, that I just might buy a seat on that space flight,  from Elon Musk.

Leaving the population area of Seattle-Portland-Vancouver corridor, I realized how much I like peace and quiet, however, I also have tremors about never returning to earth, should I take off in a SpaceX seat. However, that is true for any time you leave home. You may never return.

Critical mass extinction grows as our numbers expand, human, animal and bacterium. At the same time, knowledge on how to save the planet expands, also. Side by side, life/death, extinction/expansion walk together into the future.

No one knows what is going to actually happen, however, their influence on your psyche, as to what to believe, how to live, can turn the tide toward annihilation or integrated balance of needs, space and peaceful co-existence.

Driving across this side of the North American continent, 3 times in the past 2 months, gave me a lot of re-adjustments in my thinking about what is really endangered out here from Seattle to Los Alamos.

Farming, water, fighting over wind energy costs vs. benefits, lack of food for animals because of the droughts, local restaurants that what to serve local, organic grown produce cannot find farmers who can fill their orders, and fast food restaurants advertising for help as people leave small town areas because of lack of work, failure of their ability to pay mortgages.

Selling off farm animals, and large acreage,  because they cannot feed the livestock, because of the drought which inhibits their ability to water their lands, and prohibitive costs of shipping in feed, due to gas prices. I see the connectedness of my food chain, to weather, the economy, closure of schools because families are migrating to urban areas hoping to find employment.

If there is one thing that will be said about this depression, and it is one, it will be the migration rates in population over the past 3 years, which continues as fewer areas provide jobs for current populations.

There are not that many large cities between Albuquerque and Seattle. Driving two different routes, twice, there is Seattle, Portland, Yakima, Pendleton, Boise, Twin Falls, SLC, Provo, (may as well include those 3 together, as it is one long industrialized-residential strip along routes 84 and 15), Farmington, Gallup, then the smaller towns in between, like Moab, Green River, and Cortez. 

Lots of mountains, desert, plains and miles of land, stretching out like the Atacama desert, with no human in sight, except the fellow travelers along the road.

Sometimes I wished to be back in the big city. Almost took a left, at SLC, the first time I drove back to Gig Harbor, so that I would end up next to San Francisco Bay. I wanted to smell the ocean, feel the dampness of the fog on my body, after driving for 3 days across the Southwest.

However, the thought of driving across Nevada desert, when I could be climbing Snoqualmie Pass, and be sitting at my favorite bistro across from the Gig Harbor Marina, gave me clarity and the will to drive on. On the way across the Pass, rain tested my wipers’ speed. It was a welcome back to the Pacific NW which I shall never forget.

And yet, here I am again, in the Southwest. When I drove into Gallup, it started pouring rain. Last night, for the first time in months, a storm came through Albuquerque, bending trees and sage bushes, dark, mysterious skies, and finally the sky could not hold back and let the storm rip overhead. Appreciate rain is something that I will remember to do, when I depart the Southwest.

This is a place I have wanted to experience for a long time. It is a dream of mine to live in a geodesic dome home, and here, near Santa Fe is where I imagined the dream to evolve into reality. It is still a dream, however, whether it is here or not, is not important since living here for a few weeks, in the past 2 months, between trips, has satisfied my curiosity about my ability to enjoy the environment, and how my body would respond.

My body feels good here, today. No aches, pains or any other glitches which I am aware of when living in the wetness of the Pacific Northwest. I am on an exploratory journey, again, trying to find that place, or a few places, which work for me physically, emotionally, creatively and humanly.

If I do not explore them now, check them off the list, or keep them on, I fear unhappiness and restlessness will continue to grow, as it did the least few years living in the Pacific NW.

A friend wrote today that we are all experiencing blowouts in our lives, professionally and personally. He listed some of the agitated reactions that are being observed by him with himself and his family and friends. People are reaching for something new and they are not sure what it is, he says.

I think we are all expanding our lives, and we create the opportunities to do so, throughout our lives. At this point in history, so many more of us are communicating the changes we create and blast them across our social networks with speed and immediacy.

The ability to do so, at lightening speed,  has never occurred in human history. These changes affect us intensely, because we are able to experience and explain them, immediately, across the planet to friends, family and strangers, with pictures. Thank you, Vinton Cerf and Tim Berners-Lee.

So, in some ways I consider my migration a success, and in other ways a failure. Balanced, I am in that in order to know whether something will work or not, you have to do it, go there, experience it, say it, write it, build it, film it, sing it, paint it, photograph it and then share it with the world. Quietly successful until perfection occurs, could take forever.

Input from others assists when I falter, doubt myself, doubt the process. Cogitating advice from others takes place, however, the next move comes from a feeling, an urge inside me. I learned, long ago, not to blame anyone else for the way I am designing my life. When I come to a fork in the road, sometimes I can go both ways, and in that a new way evolves.

So, Elon, save me a seat on that off-planet, vacation shuttle you have parked in your garage. Next September would be perfect, or even the New Year’s Eve flight for 2012.

"Failure is an option here. If things are not failing, you are not innovating enough." –Elon Musk

Or, as one of my ancestors once wrote, in a similar, 500-400 B.C., mindset,

“There is in the worst of fortune the best of chances for a happy change.”--EURIPIDES, Iphigenia in Tauris

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