Sunday, June 13, 2010

Antediluvian Realities

"The slave is doomed to worship time and fate and death, because they are greater than anything he finds in himself, and because all his thoughts are of things which they devour."

Bertrand Russell (1872-1970)

"Men would rather be starving and free than fed in bonds."

Pearl S. Buck (1892-1973)

I was reminded today about a trip to Calcutta, where time was spent with some people whose mission was to get children and women, who were sex slaves, out of the brothels, and rehabilitate them, so they could have a new life, or return to their families.

It was not an experience that many people would enjoy, however, it is something which snapped me into awareness by connecting me to a reality, which is unknown to many of us, that of child sex slavery and human trafficking,

I was heading to another part of India, at the time, and met some people, in Calcutta, who had spent a lot of time in Nepal and India learning about the vagaries of child sex slave operations and the businessmen and women who control the industry.

I joined them for a few days, as it appealed to the urban sociologist and social activist part of my heart, so well influenced, in the hallowed classrooms and student activism at UC Berkeley.

Slavery is a growth industry, generating about 13 Billion US, in sales, a year. It is a growth industry because world population continues to grow, and so more slaves are needed to do the things the rest of us get paid for, usually. Profits soar when business owners do not have to pay employees. Depressing, it is, from the standpoint of the huge numbers of children and women, either sold into slavery by their families, or simply kidnapped, by the slave traders, which are huge conglomerates, trafficking across international boundaries, or just between states, in many countries, like the US and Mexico, do now.

Many times, the families, in Nepal or India, cannot afford to take care of their children, and the traders offer them 5-15 US dollars for a child, promising the children will receive education and care with a "host" family, which ends up being a brothel, a factory, or a farm using children as slaves.

Most of the children never return home,since they are in bondage for life, or die from AIDS or other sexually transmitted diseases, if working in the brothels, like in Calcutta. All are raped, and many times the older children, boys and girls around 4-5 years old, have multiple, sexual encounters daily.

Many children die from malnourishment or illnesses transmitted by clients, or beatings, at the hands of the brothel owners or customers performing sex which causes traumatic injuries to their young bodies, especially when objects are forced into bodily cavities during these encounters. A lot of the children, bleed to death, after these encounters..

The "high-end" brothels, some of which are located in tourist hotels, on certain floors, are known to local concierges and travelers from other countries.  I watched Americans, Europeans and Asians enter the brothels, paying as little as $1 to $5 for the girls or boys of 12-14 years old. The high prices, in the brothels, are normally paid for virgins. Boys and girls, who are sometimes as young as 4 years old, are considered special commodities in the brothels, if they are virgins.

The living conditions are horrible and many times they are tied to beds, or kept in locked, crowded rooms, with other children, no sanitation, water or food, for long hours, in 100 degree+ weather (like when I was there). I was able to look through peepholes, into some of these rooms, and most of the children are zombie-like, listless, lifeless.

The bedrooms they are led to, with the customers, are just as decrepit, with sexual devices available, for the customers' use, on the children, depending on their sexual deviant behavior: whips, leather harnesses, belts, manacles.

One of the brothel owners, told us, that she waits until a child or woman gets sick, and then she sells them, or their family can buy them back (however, most families will never take a girl back, and sometimes they are killed by their families, if they try to return) since the money the brothel owner gets, for a girl, is usually around 100.00 US, which allows her company (her entire family is involved in slave trade) to buy as many as 10 new children.

During the time I was in Calcutta,  there was never a night when I did not shed a tear or two, over the children or women, I had seen earlier in the day.

The sheer magnitude of the sex slave trade is unimaginable, and the conditions it operates under are the most inhumane and ghastly, for a 21st century world.  Especially, when you consider that India, like Ghana, or the US, tout themselves as icons of Democracy, in their part of the world.

The estimate is there are 28 Million slaves in the world now, however, I think that to be a conservative number. My estimate is 50,000,000 world slaves, since most of the slaves have unrecorded birth events (no birth certificates) or are, many times, sold and bought before birth, or abducted and never included in statistical analyses. Many women in Africa, South America and Asia, earn money for their family by selling the child, in-vitro, especially if the family cannot afford another child. 

A few years ago, there was a furor raised when some San Francisco travel agencies began arranging trips, for vacationers to Thailand, in order to visit brothels to have sex with boys, set up in 3 and 4 star hotels. There was some arrests made in San Francisco over the issue, however, it is something that continues, as a vacation destination commodity.

The child prostitution and sex trade flourishes, at much higher prices, within all levels of society and economic strata. The children, men, and women who are slaves, conscripted to their owners, have no way out, unless someone saves them, rehabilitates them, and educates them so they can take care of themselves, financially. There is no other way.

Until you begin to understand the amount of monies involved in this industry, and see some of these practices, up close and personal, you may never understand that if one person on earth is a slave, none of us are free, until that last one is freed.

You see a lot of stories, in the media, about children, men, women just disappearing and sometimes they are taken places and are sold as slaves to support the sex, farming, mining, fishing, and manufacturing industries. You have probably purchased items made by child slaves in Viet Nam, African nations, China, India, Bangladesh, Mexico, and the US. You just do not know, sometimes.

The Slave Trade is still in operation around the globe. The only two countries where, supposedly, it does not exist in are Greenland and Iceland. Out of 195 countries around the world, there are only 2 countries that have taken an active stand against allowing slavery, in any form to operate?

We aren't doing enough to rid it from the US, and certainly, not speaking out about it enough, to eradicate it from the rest of the world. We close our eyes, for too long, and we don't have to see it; and, we condone it with closed lips and un-typed commentaries and emails, to those groups which need to know their efforts are supported, and politicians who are trying to end it, in their districts, states, and countries now. You don't have to send money; you can write to a newspaper, senator, and say you support efforts to end slavery.

Is this something everyone, not involved in the slave/sex trade, can agree on? Or am I on some Pollyanna, Psychedelic journey, through social media, talking to myself? Please tell me I am not alone in this one. This is abominable, this world of slave traders,  to me, living as a humane, evolutionary, 21st century woman. Has consciousness in the 21st century become so polluted from an over-abundance of "causes" , that the issue of slavery is over-shadowed, on this planet?

IMGP0337Such a wonderful summer day, it was in my little village on the Puget Sound, today. I had lunch with a friend, at a great Irish pub, and walked through town, enjoying a green tea latte. The flowers and gardens are blooming and the fragrances over-whelming. 

Then, I came home and was transported back to India, remembering those times in Calcutta. The memories arose, after reading about a man's journey, to Ghana, and his experiences with trying to save a boy, this week, who is a slave, there now.

The boy's family is trying to get him back, once they realized he is now a slave. This man and the group he is traveling with, could not rescue the boy, as he was locked away in a building. The villagers were afraid if they left the boy out, the slave traders would harm the village.

I know that feeling of helplessness, when you are on the other side of the gate, staring into the eyes of a child, or a woman, who is a slave, and will remain one, for the time being. Anguish was my emotion, at the time; and, action on the part of others, to free them, is what had to happen, because their owners would not let them go. So, how long before the child is free? How long does he have to be a slave before the rest of the free world comes to his rescue?

"Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery, I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally."

Abraham Lincoln

 

Kevin Bales: How to combat modern slavery

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

2 Different Realities

Yesterday, I went to see Sex In The City 2 (SITC2), with a friend who is a therapist. This was the 2nd time, for me, because there was something disturbing about the movie, the first time I viewed it. The disturbing part had to do with the way the crowd responded to it and my unsettled feelings. Rarely, do I see a movie twice. I did see Star Wars 5 times, however, who didn’t?

I know that some of you are rolling your eyes about SITC2, however, bear with me for a few paragraphs.

This is a movie that came out a few weeks after the BP Gulf Oil disaster. The movie is set in the United Arab Republic. The incredible wealth earned from oil sales is so overwhelmingly ostentatious, as shown, by the 4 MayBach’s (409,000K average price) with one for each woman; 4 butlers, a $22,000 per night hotel suite; a sheik's personal airline with private, onboard suites for guests with a bar lounge, private TV and computer screens, on desks in the suites; the gold, bejeweled, hotel lobbies and, of course, the clothes, jewels, nanny's and NY Penthouse closets, most American women will never have access to in their lifetime. The juxtapositions, in the movie, bump up against today’s economic and social issues, for the US and most world populations, do not end with the above.

The movie also addresses gay marriage, homophobia, infidelity, marriage breakdown, Muslim laws controlling women, public affection, sexual intercourse, and classification of vitamins/minerals, for menopausal balancing, as illegal drugs, in Arab countries; many women's  attempts to be the perfect mother, based on pressure from unrealistic, societal standards; and, Muslim women’s furtive attempts to challenge current laws regarding their freedom. Men's attempts to understand it all.

The movie juxtaposes all these issues in New York and Abu Dhabi, modern, power-wealth based mega-centers, against modern and ancient views of marriage and of women. The male paradigm in current business structure ,in treatment of women, as “less than”, is also addressed in SITC2. It is directed in such as way, however, that the viewer can ignore the social issues being addressed and solely focus on the 4 women, without any thought to the subtle and obvious serious issues ,which are directed, with great aplomb and diplomacy, by the director, Michael Patrick King, a gay man who had a great interview with Jon Stewart, last week.

You can tell me I am making too much of it, yet, the unsettled feelings you will experience in viewing it, will still be there.

My 20 year old niece went to see it and did not like it. At first, I thought it was because she had not understood the sub-context issues being addressed, however, after seeing the movie for the 2nd time, it was that she did get it at a very subtle level.

Men, may not like it since they are shown in an amazing way, as the husbands, bosses, lovers, ex-boyfriends, gay couple, Arabic males, and 2nd class, male foreign workers, who are placed in scenarios which show their vulnerabilities, fears, outmoded control issues, and modern day male issues, which are sometimes misinterpreted by the media and their partners.

Women may not like it, because it unsettles the personal images we have about ourselves, as it develops subtle messages about how we treat men, misinterpreting their actions because of our less-than-healthy attitudes about relationships, and it shows a group of women who are forced to wear veils, can be imprisoned for kissing in public, or can almost be stoned for attempting to have safe sex, or be denied the use vitamins and minerals to get through menopause.

Over the decades, many women have had the ability to speak their minds, act from a place of equality with men, in the western developed nations. We know that there are still women who are forced to wear masks and veils, we have read books written by many of those women who have death threats directed at them for their bravery in fighting for rights, in their countries, and many can never return. Slavery in any form is anathema to development of truth and freedom.

As we sit here, at day 53 of the Gulf disaster, and listen to news and excuses from president’s of oil companies, countries and heads of government agencies, still trying to point fingers away from themselves, is it any wonder why this movie has to hide the issues under bon mots and humor? I guess, all I can say, is go see the movie, even if you feel that some of the actresses involved are not to your liking. It reveals issues which we are still grappling with now, in 21st century consciousness, and it will also make you laugh in some ways, as we get a look at realities that may need some thinking about and maybe, if you have the energy, some action.

Friday, June 4, 2010

Forgetting

There are times when you run into people you have not seen in a long time, and you cannot remember where you met them. That happened this morning, when I was breakfasting with a friend, and our waitress recognized my friend, and my friend pulled a blank. She did say something very clever, which I hope to remember when I find myself in a similar situation. "The face and eyes I recognize, however I cannot place the geographic location."

Now that is a great way to acknowledge someone, and give yourself credit, for at least remembering a face, but not the location where you met. In this case, they had been next door neighbors for years, and years passed since the last time they looked across the fence, at one another. Hair color, body shape had changed in both. Smile, still the same.

Wish my memory about people were as good as some. Voices seem to be the most memorable for me. Face recognition is about 50%.  People remember my face and usually where we met. Names are trouble for me, especially at large events, when meeting 20-30 people in a clip.

A few weeks ago, a call came from a man, who played with me for a few minutes, in helping me to remember a familiar voice. Aah, no, it was not a boyfriend from the past.An old friend, who was calling me for some insight as to why his marriage was falling apart.

We had not seen one another in about 5 years, yet, I had created a bond with him somehow, since he believed me to be a touchstone on the matter. The baseline disagreement is about having children. He wanted them, she wanted to adopt.

Now, the thing about Dick and Jill is they were the original, environmental activists. Rabid eco-saviors, argumentative recyclers, and in-your-face conservationists, the like of which would have most guests running to the shredder, to repent their eco-failures.

The rule at their estate (yes, it is an estate) is no more than 2 (two) 30 gallon bags of refuse can be delivered to the recycle pit, a month. Their BMW could only rack up a total of 100 miles per month. There is no plastic in the house; guests are allowed only glass containers to transport food, for parties; and, all water is recycled. All water, including toilet water is processed by a magnetic filter, for use in gardens,sheds and toilets. Off the grid with solar/wind energy.

They spoke at many enviro-events, and usually rode their bikes, or caught a ride with someone. Wealthy? Very. No one who spent time with them left without learning a new way to conserve, and everyone respected the proficient use of materials in the house, and all furniture was dual-purpose, recycled wood.

Now, the crux of the separation and possible divorce. He wanted to procreate, from his own sperm; she, having learned well the logistics of world-overpopulation from UN and WHO meetings they attended together, said adoption was the only, eco-friendly way to go. He taught her well, much to his dismay, now.

Jill came from Cardiff-By-The-Sea, CA., the land of the lotus-eaters, and met Dick, at the Top of the Mark bar, one balmy, summer night in SF, when her champagne cork, flew across tables and, landed in his Mark Hopkins Hotel, SF Seafood Chowder. A match made in heaven.

Why he was calling me about this issue, came down to the fact that, he thought, I would understand his need to procreate, from his own sperm, and could sway her into understanding that this was an important, duty for all men, over 30, on the planet.

I do understand it is important that the blood-lines continue for men, as it is imbedded into their Neanderthal, limbic brain memory. In order to continue the species, it is their duty to re-create. However, with 150,00,000 million orphans in the world today, enough orphans to wind around the equator 3 times, and 40% of all children in the US living in single, parent households, the brain needs to re-assess the limbic requirement set in place about 130,000 years ago.

I recommended he check out some famous orphans, List of Orphans, and mentioned Babe Ruth, Louis Armstrong and, oh, yes, Steve Jobs.

The unfortunate issue for Dick is that he did not take his eco-minded ministrations all the way to source, which is the reason the world is such a garbage heap and environmental disaster magnet. Most environmentalists do not, or will not look down, at their own seed staff, which is one of the main causes of Gaia's screams, as she tries to lift up from the garbage, oil spills and bad air smothering her now. It is the amount of people on earth, it will not change with the numbers growing. Teaching and preaching conservation has to begin with your own sperm and egg control. It is just plain fact.

When Dick got down to answering my questions, which revolved around why now this father-desire, and not years ago? Why all the birth control and planning not to have a baby for so long, and now that he is turning 35, he needs to reproduce Dick2, he gave me an answer that was surprising for such a wealthy, independent thinking man.

His mother, father and grandparents were coming in with the heavy guns, His siblings had all reproduced and he loved his nieces and nephews. He was enjoying children. We all enjoy children, however raising them is where you learn to love them. I have raised 9 nieces and nephews and told him if I was with a man, I would adopt in a minute.It is a couple's life together that grows the child, and the love that child experiences with the couple, is all that matters.The child would have his last name. He said his mother would be upset and his father, too. His fear made me sad.

I convinced him that life, without Jill, would not be the same, and he could father a child, but he would be without the love of his life. Why raise a child without the person you know you should be with? The woman who delights you every time she walks in a room with a dish of vanilla ice cream for you? 

Talking with Jill, I can see her point too and it all comes down to seeing a man becoming afraid, that he ceases to exist into eternity,  unless a child, from his loins is conceived. And knowing a woman who believes there are so many children, in the world, that need the love she knows Dick and she can produce together, as a family.

Today, Dick called to tell me that they are going to begin visiting orphanages. They are going to look around; he is going to test his beliefs, handed down through the ages, and see if there is a child that can fulfill this need he has to be a father, without his wife giving birth.

I think he can, and I reminded him about his discussion, with me  years ago, that I was a lovely woman who could make a man happy, even though I could no longer have children, because of a health challenge. In the end, there are many ways to be with the one who loves you.

Sometimes, you just have to forget what you once believed to be true, about what it means to be a real man, or a real woman. Sometimes you have to believe that a new way is possible as you fly through the clouds, seeing new possibilities, fulfilling dreams in unimaginable ways. And sometimes, the love of a child is possible, with someone you love, not of your loins, or from your belly, but from 2 hearts dreaming the same dream.

So, I am turning on Mr. Jagger and listening to one of my favorite tunes, because sometimes you can't always get what you want but you do get what you really, and truly need. Love seems to be it.

 

YOU CAN'T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT
(M. Jagger/K. Richards)

Choir:
I saw her today at a reception
A glass of wine in her hand
I knew she would meet her connection
At her feet was her footloose man

No, you can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
And if you try sometime you find
You get what you need

I saw her today at the reception
A glass of wine in her hand
I knew she was gonna meet her connection
At her feet was, footloose man

You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes, well you might find
You get what you need
Oh yea-ay (hey-hey-hey, oooh)

And I went down to the demonstration
To get my fair share of abuse
Singin', 'We're gonna vent our frustration
If we don't, we're gonna blow a 50-amp fuse'
Sing it to me, now
(You can't always get what you want)
(You can't always get what you want)
(You can't always get what you want)
But if you try sometimes, well you just might find
You get what you need
Ooh baby, yeah, ooh

I went down to the Chelsea drugstore
To get your prescription filled
I was standin' in line with Mr. Jimmy
A-man, did he look pretty ill
We decided that we would have a soda
My favorite flavor, cherry red
I sung my song to Mr. Jimmy
Yeah, and he said one word to me, and that was 'dead'
I said to him

(You can't always get what you want) well no!
(You can't always get what you want) tell ya baby
(You can't always get what you want) no
But if you try sometimes, you just might find, mmm!
Mmm! you get what you need
Ooh yes! Woo!
(Instrumental & choir) Ooow-ooh!
You get what you need
Yeah!
Ooow, babe!
Ooh, yeah

I saw her today at the reception
In her glass was a bleeding man
She was practiced at the art of deception
Well, I could tell by her blood-stained hands
Say it!

(You can't always get what you want) yeah!
(You can't always get a-what you want) ooo-yeah, baby!
(You can't always get a-what you want)
But if you try sometime, you just might find
You just might find
You get what you need
Ooh, yeah!
Ooh, baby!
Woo!

Ah, you can't always get a-what you want
No, no baby
You can't always get a-what you want

Tellin' you right now
You can't always get what you want, mmm!
But if you try sometimes you just might find
You just might find, that ya
Get what you need
Oooh, yeah!
I'm tellin' the truth, babe