Illusions of Birth

An acquaintance of mine broke up with a girlfriend a few years ago. He re-united with her this Spring. It was a very strange event. He has a very active life and travels a lot, however the energy around them seems to be one based on illusions of love, rather than actually being in love. He is a lonely man, a solitary artist, and seems to be seeking someone who can block his need for loneliness,rather than someone he wants to be with who is passionately in love.


Now, he is running around telling everyone he wants to have a baby with her. He wants to make a statement about creation with his sperm, rather than making a statement about who he truly is and owning it.


I can think of nothing more sad than a man who desires a child in order to prove he is powerful, can you? It seems he is in floating in a bowl of oblivion and now has found that making a woman pregnant will endear him to humanity. The pregnancy is a statement about his manhood, rather than an act of love for a child, and I fear they will not stay together, once a child is conceived and born.

She is also rotating in his dream state and for her to connect with this man is a way to capture him from the world and other women. She will be bowed to as she was the one who was finally able to rope him in, as he is what is termed in today’s lingo, a “catch”.
I, and others, feel sorry for him. He is a well-respected creator in his field of work, however, now looking back on some of his actions and productions, seems to be even more so, a dreamer.
True, we all are dreamers in our ways. A child though is flesh and blood, a mind and heart that enters the world, and to bring a child in without true intention, is a travesty for all concerned.

This man now seems to be a bit of a Peter Pan in his life’s actions. He seems to be productive in work, however in his personal life, he is not seeing the reality now, and probably fearful of being alone, and a braggart also.

I am sorry for the child to come, as I imagine it living in a one-parent household in the not to distant future. It will have all the luxuries money can afford, however, true love between the parents does not exist now, and I imagine, that will be so in the future.

There is always a chance they stay together for the child, or because of the worldly status of the father. It will not be happy, though, and it will affect the child eventually.

How many times have you known a friend or acquaintance who went ahead with an idea, to fulfill a dream that societal pressure applauded, only to pick up the pieces when they realized a mistake had been made because the decision was out of fear, not true heart’s desire?

There is nothing I can do about it, since we are not that close, however I wish there was something I could say to stop the fantasy about becoming a father, with a woman who also twirls in his fantasy, in order to save a child from being born that eventually will have to spend summers with one parent, and then return in the Fall to live with the other?

The energy around the world now is based on a lot of fear created by economic, political and natural events which bring with them great destructive power of everything previously thought of as safe and secure, for many of us. The overall energy from these challenging events affects you 24 hours a day. Many people are making decisions based on this fear level, rather than listening to their hearts and following their souls’ true path.

I am glad this blog was written, as I cannot imagine a sadder time, for me, then when I ignore my intuitive insights, and suppress the urge  to discuss them, here. One day, when they are no longer together, I hope to remember this writing, and will re-read it. The only thing that will be of sadness on that day is the knowledge that a little child was born into the world, of 2 parents who lived in a trance about reality, which was developed because their lives were so lonely and guided by ego, rather than wisdom and true love.

Technorati Tags: birth,soul,wisdom,love

Vision Quest for 21 days

Who am I? What is my soul's purpose? What are my goals? What in my life must I change?

Since 1 July, a Vision Quest have I been on. To those of you who sought me out, on the blog or in emails, over the past 21 days, I appreciate your concern, and am a bit amazed you actually read and enjoy my diminutive attempts juggling the Written Word. I have returned to the world of electronics, having un-plugged from all such devices for the past 21 days, in order to bring balance to my wired brain, and sought to find the peace and sustenance of walking meditations, quieting mind, breaking through personal fears, new anxieties about earth changes, and disturbances in my soul which needed to be revealed from the depths of Self, understood, healed, challenged and written about in prose and poetry.

I did not realize, until this Vision Quest became a reality in late June, that it was exactly what was needed, in order to balance my energy and renew my spirit, in order to continue on my path of creating art, writing novels and recognizing my consummate abilities as an artist, a writer, musician, lover, sister, daughter, aunt and a woman. A sexy woman,at that, I've decided,too ! ;)

Unplugging from all normal activities was difficult the first 3 days, and then a peace arose in the place I was, the paths that I walked, the beaches I strolled, mountains I climbed which cunningly brought understanding to me, of the wisdom, in taking time for a Vision Quest. Not many have the luxury of so engaging, however, I understand now the critical importance of taking time to find the new wisdom inside me. These revelations about self could not be found plugged into cell phones, laptops, radios, movies, newspapers and televisions.It was a huge download of cosmic information, and a big upload of crap from me which was time to be drug out, swept away and released to the universe, grateful for the understanding of the gifts the past challenges had brought me, which led to the new understanding of what I need now, what I can do now, and that it is all coming to me, as it was always intended to come throughout eternity. It is mine.

What arose for me during this time was a treasured understanding of myself, and neglected pieces of my fragile, human puzzle which, as I uncovered them, completed entire pictures, for me, of life situations from the past, and the power to act in current life, with efficacy and grace. These fragmented parts of my soul came together in a way you would only understand as AH-HA moments, over the days and nights of the past 3 weeks. Many such moments, thrust me into long and fast sprints on the beach at night, or winding into the depth of the ancient forests, at dawn, to lay on the primordial ferns gazing through 200 ft. high branches to a surreal, breathtaking, eternal vista.

There were moments when the painful recognition of truth hurt so deeply all that could come forth was tears, or a female wolf howl, and then the dervish swirls of my body, dancing around in circles until the laughter arose again in my 5th chakra, the throat, where communication resides. I had to usurp all electronic and human interactions, from me, in order to become more humane for you. The closest thing I can relate this experience to would be a death, yet unlike death, feeling the depths of despair, the joys of revelations, the desires of my heart and soul as a mystery revealed, and a personal euphoria, which brought my Self into balance, in order to heal the past and birth a wiser, joyful Self.

Schlesinger, once said, that everything that matters in our intellectual and moral life begins with an individual confronting his own mind and conscience in a room by himself.

That is what I did, in my own way. I had felt for a few weeks, before un-yoking from the Internet and IPod,  that something was trying to reveal itself to me. Everywhere I went, I had this sense that there was something inside of me that I did not understand, yet it was holding itself quietly, and persistently inside my being, and every issue I thought it could relate to, never caused it to cease its inner whisperings, causing tension and anxiety.

I knew that an amorphous conclusion, pregnant with unimaginable benedictions was beating against my soul awaiting a time to chant its refrains. The only way it could reveal itself was for me to listen to its murmurs and harmonies, without any foreign discordances or dissonant tones, that could affect its ability to reveal itself to me. Hence, the unplugging. So, a vision quest it became. Just me, my soul and higher self over these 21 days. 

Many things changed for me and many people I know. One thing that came to full force is this incredible ability I have to write and am trying now to transcribe 5 yellow legal pads of journal entries. I love writing with my Pierre Balmain pen. I collect pens, did I ever reveal this passion of mine? Nothing thrills me more than holding that perfectly balanced pen, of esquisite craftsmanship. That Balmain I bought in Arles, France, a few years ago, and I only use it for special things. It pops up,once in a while when I need it.

I taught myself how to write with my left hand, when I was in grade school, so I could balance my energy, when writing, thereby I have the ability to write, and allow the energy to flow from both sides of my charka system. I realized that the writing I do with my left hand, and sometimes I write backwards, so that I have to hold it up to a mirror, in order to read it, is a much different soulful, expressive discourse.

Since the right side of the body relates to the female, emotional, creative energy, I bet that not many people have had the understanding that to write with the left hand releases emotional/spiritual energies(right-brain becomes balanced)  versus right hand writing, which emanates from the didactic aspect of practical nature (left-brain): Informative, cognitive informational vs. emotional, psychic, spiritual become one flow, like a yin-yang, feng shui of creative energies.

I figured it out when I was living in Argentina and beginning to understand more deeply spiritual and psychic powers, meeting healers and shamans. Once I began training myself to use the left side of body, to write with, I felt as if I had discovered one of the secrets of the universe, as my writing took a deeper dive into psyche. It is still an amazing experience, each time I switch hands. Big difference in that writing with my left hand, I am completely taken over by free flow information from the depths of Self, that seems to have an unending, revelatory nature, which sometimes rolls on for hours.

My discovery is a chapter of my new book which delves deeper into the importance of using creative power, at this point of time, in order to bring balance to everything you or your families are doing. The entire shifting energy of the planet is requiring attendance to your work, your impeccable actions, and being able to observe and interpret what the truth is for yourself. No more excuses: you know when you are acting from fear rather than compassion.

You know when you need love, out of fear or because it is easier to return to an old love because that is the known, rather than go after that which excites your soul and is where you are most alive. I see many people returning to old loves because they are lonely, afraid of the uncharted waters of passion, because they do not feel worthy of true, ecstatic love, or simply because they do not want to give up their old lists of what they require in a relationship. For instance, one of my old rules was that I would never have ANOTHER LONG DISTANCE relationship.

Well that got thrown out these past weeks. Why not? Miss the love of my life because he is a thousand miles away? Ten thousand miles away? It is not the time to be weak and afraid. The universe is an amazing place and anything is possible now. I no longer need to worry about how things are going to unfold. I just have to recognize they are put in my path for me to deal with, hold on to, appreciate and trust. No, I am not with a man, yet, however I have a sense we are moving in each other's orbits, doing what we need to do creatively and day-to-day. Anyway, I was talking about my passion for fountain pens. My passion for life and how much my Vision Quest brought treasures and release to my soul. Hope you are well. What happened to you the past 21 days?

My new picture was taken within a few hours of plugging back in. Do I look different? Feel different. Vibrating out of my old shell now, and jumping to find out what the next indicated thing is.

 

GULFGATE OBSCURES CONGRESS VOTE

I really have to applaud Congress, again, for pulling the wool over our eyes these past 3 weeks. While the rest of you were running down to the Gulf, to sing and walk and demonstrate about oil balls floating in the water, and riding around in planes and cars from one end of Louisiana to the other, USING UP MORE GAS AND LINING THE POCKETS OF OIL COMPANIES, strumming guitars and singing about "Giving Green a Chance", using the old John Lennon tune, of Give Peace a Chance (could you not come up with something original?), the House of Representatives and the Senate managed to walk away from their plush Capital Hill offices today, head out via private jets and limos to luxurious homes and foreign shores, leaving 2,000,000+ Americans without any funds to buy hot dogs, gas or even a bus ticket. Gotcha!

All the screaming about the GULFGATE Oil Disaster, helped to create the illusion, which Congress needed, to deflect mass media viewing of the Senate leaving DC, refusing to vote on the Extended Benefits provision, to millions of Americans, until they return from vacation.

So,today, right now, there are over 2,000,000 unemployed people, along with their families (another 3-5 million (wives/children/husbands who live with the unemployed) who will have ZERO funds from Unemployment for at least a month, or more, or until Congress returns on the 12th of July and then makes a big political stance, to show off what they learned in debating classes, for a few more weeks, while Americans starve. Oh, and they are planning on not giving any more extended benefits when they return to those still without work. By the way, when they go off Unemployment, they are no longer counted in the national statistics or state statistics monthly reports. There are estimates of 35% of the US being out of work now, even though states are still claiming less than 10% on the books, because once you stop receiving checks you are no longer counted in the numbers.

Oh, I said my peace about GULFGATE, in previous blogs. It is disgusting to be 75 days out and there are still no BP officials in jail, and Obama is going to allow offshore drilling with no restrictions, which is what his deal is with the oil cartels who run their fingers through the World Bank and had such a huge influence in the White House for the last 5 administrations--it's money and politics, as usual.

However, for the Senate, led by Democrat VP Biden,  to walk away from voting on extending benefits to those still on unemployment, after the House voted to extend benefits to those who need them, until July 12, for their vacation, reminds me of why Rome fell. Lack of interest, but plenty of interest for money, power and control. 

Do you realize that there may be nothing they can do to stop the oil from flowing into the Gulf? It may go on forever, until billions of gallons are shot out of the earth, and the entire Gulf is destroyed? Because that is what is happening now. So what do you do? Which do you choose to voice your displeasure over to Congress? Both. Your neighbors and their families are going to be destitute in a few days, maybe weeks, for those who have some help. But not all.

I have watched the Famous head down to the Gulf, on their jets and super luxurious RV's, to sing songs and walk around cities playing their guitars. If they had any sense, they should have been in DC, standing in the Capital, knocking on the doors of their Senators and Reps, putting some real pressure on them. The last thing any Senator wants is famous stars and musicians bringing along the media, to their Senate Building doors.

A friend of mine in New Orleans went to one of the demonstrations and was disgusted with the fact that a lot of people who showed up were only interested in seeing the famous actors and musicians. It was a media blitz for the famous and did little, other than a minute blitz on the news stations, to bring attention to the fact that most of the people who should of gone because they are so devastated that their source of income is gone now due to the oil spill, cannot afford to buy gas to put in their cars to go to a rally, since they have to buy food.

If anything, Congress should have stayed and voted for an increase in unemployment benefits, extended the deadlines out, because there are going to be a lot more people on the roles in the states affected by the spill, now. I blame Joe Biden for this since he is the head of the Senate and he could of kept them all there, in their seats, making them vote tonight. Senators' vacations are more important than your neighbors getting another check Friday, to put hot dogs and soda on the table for the 4th of July. Well, I think, the US Congress' new slogan should be taken from the lips of Marie Antoinette, as Rosseau remembers.

Jean-Jacques Rousseau's 12-volume autobiographical work Confessions, was written in 1770. In Book 6, which was written around 1767, he recalls:

At length I recollected the thoughtless saying of a great princess, who, on being informed that the country people had no bread, replied, "Then let them eat pastry!"