“All my life, my heart has yearned for a thing I cannot name.”--Andre Breton
I spent the afternoon after a meeting, driving around Albuquerque, near Sandia. There are some meetings which one should never attend for the simple lack of commonality of interests. Yet, one which drives all, simple greed.
One person made it clear that he had to be somewhere else and tried to set the cadence of the discussion. Sitting back, observing, kicked in and I realized, being the only woman present, these guys were not on the same page and they should be as they represented the company.
There have been times in my life when I have regretted walking away from an opportunity, simply because of the beneficial results, for me, personally. This did not apply in this instance since I have changed in the past few months.
A new perspective is in place and should I not follow my gut instinct, higher level of awareness, I am doomed to repeat the lesson over again, until I get it. I am tired of reincarnating. So this is my last lifetime.
Comes a point in most of our lives when we know something or someone is not right for us. You can dress the situation in a million illusionary scenarios, yet until you are at the table or with that person, you really have no ideas what your read will be on them/it.
I can carry along for so long in a situation like that and then my mind begins to wander, or finds it necessary to get up and walk out of the room.
I like people. Like them around me, talking to them, sharing a meal, going out, visiting their home. Yet, there are some who represent a silence once maintained, when I was too immature, too in awe of, to walk away from at the time. We have limits to what or who we can tolerate. There will always be people who challenge our comfort levels. That may stop once, you have morphed into the perfect human being, and at that point, you will either seek to be revered as a god/dess or escape to a place of peace.
Asking myself the question as to why I embarked on this journey becomes redundant, as the answer will not reveal itself until it appears before me. So many are in pain now. Live in fear of the next moment or day.
Seeing it in their faces, which we have the opportunity to do daily either face-to-face, via the media, or across the internet, throws me into a state of gratefulness for all that I have now.
Friends still question my sanity about the drastic moves taken to divest myself of many lovely things, get in the car and drive away from all that had been my world for a number of years. More stuff will come, new friends, new locations. Not concerned about those things. That is the world. This is something else, someone else.
The View From My Home – Looking North to Olympic Mts. and Vancouver B.C.
Strange place I find myself in as I’ve led such a solitary life for a while, except animals or visitors. Since I left Steilacoom and my place above the Puget Sound, the only time I’ve been alone is in hotels. May 12th is when I handed over the keys and drove off.
“And this, our life, exempt from public haunt, finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, sermons in stones, and good in everything.”—William Shakespeare
It has been 2 months that I’ve been on the road, staying with friends or family. My first degree program was Anthropology. This experience has placed me in the role as an Urban Anthropologist. Seeing how people live, how their relationships change and grow, satisfies that other degree of Communications/ Sociology. Put them together, and my mind and energy is being fed continuously because these people are wonderful.
Kindness, craziness, and a roof above. I’ve traveled so much in my life, leaving home when I was 15 to live in Argentina, with people I did not know, shifted my perceptions, as all travel does. Now, older, still learning about myself, I find an incomparable experience, one which others have traveled seeking, for millennia.
I am being led somewhere, to someone, something which rests in the mists of my journey. Unexpected, unplanned roads, people arise before me, frequently now.
Each has a message, or is a period at the end of a sentence which confirms the lessons I learned before they arrived, or, the sentence clears an incorrect perception for me.
At this point in time, major evolutionary shifts are recognized by Hopi, Aztec, Maya, Navaho, Buddhist, Jewish, The Seven Tribes… need I go on naming them? It is not the end of the world. It is the beginning of using the knowledge we’ve gained in the past 5,000 years that brings us to a cross point in evolution.
If you continue doing things which bring you harm, deny love to those you are drawn to, turn away from your life’s mission by silencing your soul for another 5,000 years, then you will join the group who resonate to your fear, guilt and sorrow.
Hopefully, you are listening to what you know is the truth for you. You won’t have a long time to decide if you want something, or if there is someone, you know resonates to you, that you finally acknowledge. Denying yourself that which you have yearned for, asked for, prayed for which now has been brought into your orbit, may cause you to lose it, forever. Some might say we are addicted to our seeking. When it arrives, that which we’ve yearned for our entire lives, some keep walking. They do not know how to stop.
What will they become if they do attain that which they desire?
You understand that this new paradigm, the end of the 4th world as the Hopi call it, places everything you want and need in your hands for the evolution of your life. You see people’s lives change swiftly, radically, at a force, dimension and transparency which is breathtaking.
http://motherearthfathersky.org/hopi-prophecy/#.UCSh8qA0-So
And, it is amazing to experience. We all know something incredible is taking place in our lives, and yet, so many still believe it is an illusion.
I know when someone is looking at me, as if I did not exist. In the past, I may have gone toe-to-toe with them to make them look at me. I do not bother, any longer. It really was always my perception of who I was, which gave me a ghost-like presentation in those instances. Does not matter any longer, since the universe hit me over the head a few times.
I chose the experience of almost dying about 6 or 7 times. Others choose financial ruin, destruction of family, ending a love relationship, or what ever it takes to slap them awake and bring them into present being, fully consciously aware of their purpose, passion and self-worth to the species.
“There is only one admirable form of the imagination: the imagination that is so intense that it creates a new reality, that it makes things happen.”--Sean O'Faolain
Guilt has no place in your personal belief system, any longer.You and I know when we are doing something against nature or ourselves. It is part of our DNA, it is how we are wired. Everything I have done in my life, brought me to this point, this awareness. I cannot deny my Self. Perfection was never a goal. Understanding, health, love, joy, comfort lay at the base of my seeking across the planet.
Always, I have believed that I was sent/came here to be happy. Always, I have known that someday a man would appear and we would know. Some have called me a fool, and in their eyes, I am but thank god, I am not them.
I was guided to this place in the Southwest. It was not planned until a week or so before I handed over the keys to the house. You know when you’re a little scared, yet you have to take the chance or you will never have it again? That has been my guidance for these 2 months. I take the chance, turn off the “NO” voice, and it has proven to be an incredible journey.
Traveling, I am. This is not the final destination and there will be someone or something guiding me, directing, taking me to the next place on the map. I have no other way of explaining it to you. Yet, you understand clearly what I mean. We are all being challenged to drop the roles, the false personae, the excuses based on fear: the diluted, out worn fabric of our lives which no longer hides us from one another.
“As love without esteem is capricious and volatile; esteem without love is languid and cold.”--Jonathan Swift
You know immediately, when you meet someone, either in virtual or real life, if there is a connection, a resonance. Doesn’t take long to figure out anymore, does it? Marvelous possibilities arise, and yet, so many run from them because they see them through old, painful memories which exist in the mind. Change your mind, change your life.
So, my wish is that my game-playing ceases to exist with you. There are moments when I fall into an old pattern. Does not last long. Seconds, minutes when I realize I am responding out of guilt or fear. Thankfully, they are infrequent now. I do not want to run away from the most transformative moments of my life, when they are offered.
There is no room for fear, of what someone thinks of you, if you know who you are and are truthful with them. Wouldn’t you like to be with someone who is truthful with you? If you do, then you must resonate that in everything you do. Pay attention to the signals and symbols the universe is placing before you.
The universe always wins. It has phenomenal energy to persist eternally, or until you realize, this package is for you. Be brave. Open it. Rip into it. It could be the only chance you shall ever have in this lifetime.
“And now here is my secret, a very simple secret; it is only with the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye.”--Antoine de Saint-Exupery
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