The Crossroads

© 2012 Danise Codekas

Driving across the mountains and ledges of Colorado and Utah today, I fell into a somnolent meandering about my place on the planet. Long, empty bits of time, alone on the road was I.

Driving through golden desert, surrounded by monoliths of red rocks, pink stratum, and blue sky above. Statues of Egyptian gods, formed from relentless beatings by sand and wretched, from once standing mountains, to stand alone, higher than the skyscrapers which entrance the metro-skeptical, of modern day world cities.

The forms, amazing in their structure, remind me of one of Hemiunu’s designs, like the Great Pyramid. Maybe Khufu, too, decided to land outside of Moab and put together the Great Stupa,

Ruwanwelisaya, in Sri Lanka, so I could finally touch it,  and walk inside, without taking another 18 hour flight to the Indian subcontinent.

Finally, Moab, was there and grounding myself with an iced vanilla latte, seemed a very 21st century end to a long, sweltering, photo shoot from New Mexico to Utah.

It is big, empty world out here. There is more empty space in the world, than men and women covering it with their footprints and plastic bags. Feeling better about myself, cleansing many old beliefs and foolish illusions through the heat of the sun, and the unalterable majesty of emptiness portrayed by beauty in nature, enjoyed coffee.

The Hopi, Navajo, Ute, Zuni lead hard lives here, in their environment. They are kind, and were direct, no word games,  whenever we had interactions.

We forget there are those who are not afraid to leave their homes needing dialogue filters.

I know when someone is baiting me because they wish to not reveal who they are, as if they were afraid of who they are, and their defenses go up, against me, or you, and miss the joy of  an honest, heartfelt conversation.

I find myself ending these wasted word touches, as there is no real human intercourse taking place. They use, what I call, “Office Speak”. Pretense, illusionary, defensive posturing and tones, with no heart to share. Many lies, and more often, now, that financially, all of us know, the entire world has lost stature,  financially, in some way, pretending to be more, have more, understand more than we do.

Sad, this is for all of us. With suffering, comes wisdom, sometimes, and perhaps you can learn from me, and I, from you. I don’t want your soul. Having my own, keeps me busy. I am not perfect, nor do I assume you to be, or expect you to be. That is why you came to earth, wasn’t it? Learn lessons over and over, until understanding and compassion with self and others kicks in?

There is nothing you have I would steal, so your “stuff” is safe. So many people on this trip were sad, scared and seeking an answer to the collapse we all are mired in now. It will change, end, shift as all things do, in time.

Those who live close to the earth, who were not foolish with funds when they felt the pendulum of prosperity swing askew, survive. I never thought Christ, Buddha or Mother Theresa were angry,  impoverished people. I met her in Calcutta.

She had very little, yet, graciously offered tea. Tea and conversation with her interest in humans, and their lives and conditions superseded her desire to hide the true state of her life financially. She was not ashamed of her self, her choices, nor her lack of furniture or clothing.

Nor am I, now. Long ago, yes, when I was foolish and enamored of things. Now owning 13 boxes of things, a car, 2 computers, 3 suitcases of clothes, 1 bag of makeup, 1 bag of shoes, 3 hats, my relationship with people is different, in that my burden of taking care of all those things I had before, has lightened considerably.

The time spent taking care of those things, now is spent in nature, preparing my photographs for my portfolio, in order to find an agent, and writing. Strange state I live in, now, probably to you, who has many things to care for in your home. That is your life. This is mine.

It is 3:34 a.m., here in Moab world. Desert driving requires one arises early and stops, in the early afternoon. Hotel check in is 2pm out here, as the heat dries the brain, even though air conditioning is a dear friend.

I have to make a decision when I arrive in Salt Lake City, today. It will be made in moment of feeling, understanding the feeling, will come then. It always does. Shall I come to San Francisco, for what reason my soul knows, and has been quiet, so far, yet pulls me there. Or, continue on to Gig Harbor, sell my car, repack, and leave for Kauai?

Hmm. The crossroads are upon me. Are they also upon you? Go with faith, excitement of possibility, seriousness of a completion, amazement for a new beginning. Love, No Fear.

 

Time becomes immaterial, illusionary when death is an unknown, as I watch the wind and sand form new sculptures out of wind, silica and sun.