The Way Love Begins

copyright 2011, Danise Codekas: Danise@Gmail.com

What has happened is that a lot of things are going on in my life and posting a blog before I understood them and their import was wasted time, for me and you.

Speed up time is all I have to say to the universe today. Just speed it up so the devastation, pain and horror we are witnessing across the planet end. Close our eyes for a minute and the chaos ends, forever.

I wish I could end your pain for you. Only you can do it, since this is the time-space continuum you chose to work out your karmatary duties. Karmatary is a new word, in the English language,  which I just created.

Karmatary def.: A holistic view of the universe that personal karma must be resolved or it migrates into multiple life times, across all planetary space and time, until the soul mission is realized and attained, for the advancement of all sentient beings.

There is always something there to remind you when you have fucked up, hurt someone or ignored the desires of your heart. You can always return next lifetime to clean up your messes and you will have new teachers, new loves, new talents. You are evolution in process. It never ends and it continues until that spark of knowledge only you can share with the world has been imparted with compassion.

These past months have been ones of deep thinking, startling revelation, and an emptiness that does not frighten. I am in cosmic limbo, awaiting something unlike anything ever experienced before now.

Every part of my life, which was in confusion, has settled into resolution via an understanding, a teaching, another human stripping me of attachment via their interpretation of life and soul purpose, or through the understanding of what little importance another’s opinion of my life affects me. Those vestiges of self-degradation, created in childhoods, we all carry around, left me a few weeks ago in a valley above Whistler, B.C., Canada.

Resting below the August night sky, on a mountainside of the Coast Mountain Range, after a drink at the Fairmont Mallard Bar, after a free Mraz concert, front-row spot my left, his right, the answer came to me.

It was a whisper across the stars. A sigh across my eyes. A breeze through the trees while clouds danced around the Canadian moonlight, at 4 a.m.

“There is one spectacle grander than the sea, that is the sky; there is one spectacle grander than the sky, that is the interior of the soul”

Victor Hugo

Could not sleep, so drove from the Fairmont to a place that called my heart, and thanking Subaru for my full length station wagon comforts, watched the sky move from dark to gentle morning greys and blues.

Release fears. Release attachment to old self. The old patterns are disappearing into the blue light of early dawns’ dreams and revelations.

Have you ever felt so deeply, into your body and soul, it almost hurt to breath, because you could explode into the universal consciousness, shoot across the morning horizon and realize you were one lucky, incredible, amazing being without end or beginning, reaching for the ends of being and divine grace?

Yes, it was probably different for you however all I have are words, which come from a place I know exists, however, the memory of that place arises through different experiences of my life.

Sometimes in water, or skiing down a mountain, or driving fast, up mountain curves, with radio blasting, or dancing in front of a stage, where a musician performs to nameless faces, on a stage once graced by the most amazing athletes in the world, receiving their Olympic Golds, strumming and staring at the mountain, I rested on that night.

Crawling into my white-sheeted, down covered,  hotel bed, comforted with French press coffee and currant scone, exhausted and blissed out from being kissed under the moon, by cosmic spirits and ancient ones, I realized I felt alive again.

No pain, or sorrow or fears touching me from the past. Release from them, I chose, and the earth heard my prayers of thanks and gratitude, and gave me a surprise in the eyes of a lovely fox, looking at me from behind a fern covered log. I saw my curiosity in its eyes. I also saw there was no fear, and we were motionless mountainside, touching one another’s souls in Paradise.

“Love is a portion of the soul itself, and it is of the same nature as the celestial breathing of the atmosphere of paradise.”- Victor Hugo

A layer of that secret mask, we sometimes place in front of ourselves, as others probe, our raison d’etre, was dissolved by moonlight, foxes,  and earth’s healing magnetic re-balancing. I am altered and living a new paradigm. 

I sent love to all of you, that night. I do not know you, your face, your life, your loves, your fears. However, that night I blessed you all, in silent prayer and gratitude.

And, if we have glanced in each other’s eyes, passing through a mountain village, or rushing down city sidewalks, or meeting in a room filled with strangers and spoke few words, I sent you blessings.

We share the earth. I shared my heart with you, a fox and the moon, that moonlit night in Whistler, B.C. Thought you should know, someone wished for your happiness the morning of August 6th.

“The power of a glance has been so much abused in love stories that it has come to be disbelieved. Few people daresay nowadays that two beings have fallen in love because they have looked at each other. Yet that is the way love begins, and only that way.”- Victor Hugo

Trying to Understand

Everything is connected... no one thing can change by itself.

~ Paul Hawken

copyright2011, Danise Codekas

Last night the Beatles were playing in the park. Actually, 4 guys who go by the name Abbey Road, and played after the farmer’s market to a crowd of 300+ residents, friends and family.

Remarkably, the drummer has the best voice and he was also British, or maybe Australian, but the accent was there. Paul, John and George should have let him take the lead on all the songs. A reverse incarnation for Ringo would suit.

Something about hearing old, familiar tunes that everyone knows, and the largest dance jam, yet, for the summer concert series, arose, and rocked out through the 90 minute concert, above Puget Sound,  and below V formations of Canadian Geese and soaring Eagles, above.

I turned to my friend and asked, “Is this all there is?”, which was a very philosophical question, that welled up, after they played Back in the USSR. The great life changing question is a precursor to a new design for my life. The daily events are coalescing into a huge, super-conscious download which I have been reaching for all my life, and I am watching my moments closely now.

I know you all have been reading me and I enjoy the feedback you send me in emails and phone calls. There are things that I have to do on my own and this change that has been coming to me, has arrived and all I can say is I bought the ticket and waiting for the spaceship to show up that will whisk me into an entirely, self-created newness. I cannot tell you what or where it will be, however, it involves writing, music and a new place, somewhere, not here.

People change and forget to tell each other.-~ Lillian Hellman

I am in the eternal, cosmic,void of consciousness change. It comes as my meditations deepen, my attachments lessen, and my understanding of what I need to do--write the secrets in my heart, and capture those sentences, which come down from above. That unknowable, eternal center of the universal mind, inspire and feed my unquenchable needs to reveal unnamable ideas, on a laptop screen, a blue lined paper tablet, or on a blank cover, on a matchbook.

The blank cover of a matchbook holds 2 book titles, that revealed themselves to me in the middle of a 7-11, one night, as I went in to pay for gas.

I am more than my words, deeper than the explanations of those mystics ,and holy men and women who gave me information about those things, of spirit I have constantly sought and write of  or allow to seep into my stories and manuscripts, now.

If I were to say what ended most of my relationships. with men, I would have to say that they lacked the desire to pursue their own mysticism. They did not seek the unknowable of the universe. You have to be brave to pursue the unknowable.

There are no warning signs in a dark jungle except the sound of something rustling beyond you. I froze in the Ecuadorian jungle one night, at the same moment realizing the writing I was doing was causing the same fear to arise. I had to keep walking to get out of the jungle. I have to keep writing to get out the words. It is who I am.

Change and growth take place when a person has risked himself and dares to become involved with experimenting with his own life.~ Herbert Otto

I need to seek that unknowable. A man who does not understand my desire and passion, and who does not thirst to know what this cosmic, extraordinary, ever evolving creation, we all are held in, would not stay with me, nor I with him. Hence, here I am alone, again, walking across the planet.

How can I honor a relationship, with a man who does not seek, see, and know there is more to his body, things, or life’s work? He becomes a finite mind; not and infinite possibility for me. He must seek infinity and the answer to his being.

All those broken, creative, exciting, challenging relationships you or I have had that no longer exist, as once they did, through our passionate embraces, or wild longings, could never have worked for the simple reason that your soul and my soul were seeking something more.

The people we were with did not have that same passion and desire to know what is going on, in the universe, and what it is that is creating, every new moment in our breaths.

Giving us the words, the sounds, the miracles of its presence reveled through our dreams, our writings, lyrics, poetry, dances, sculptures, musical notes, and brush strokes on canvas.

Whoever undertakes to create soon finds himself engaged in creating himself. Self-transformation and the transformation of others have constituted the radical interest of our century, whether in painting, psychiatry, or political action.~ Harold Rosenberg

I stopped believing that my relationships ended because someone lied, cheated or just was not interested in me or visa versa. Last night, in communion with all that is, while listening to music, a cosmic laugh from the universe blew me out of my chair at the concert, whisked me off the the heavenly, blue field sky, and I knew those important men of my past,  were only touchstones on my path of seeking. All important, all my choosing.

We were on a path together, seeking an answer to our existence, our next direction, for a while. Then we needed someone else and the universe would send somebody, when there was only a thread to hang onto sometimes, in my life. What about you? When did the universe send you somebody, when you were stranded and just ready to come apart?

Our desire to know more about the unknowable, that energy which keeps all patterns, molecules, and paradigms in place as the universe, changed for us both.

I wanted to change the world. But I have found that the only thing one can be sure of changing is oneself.~ Aldous Huxley

I left, again, on my flying, winged journey, through time and mystical meanderings, and they went their way. Most of my relationships ended because they  did not understand my need to seek.

I feel universal power, flowing through me,  in everything I do. I know that all religions and ancient wisdom-keepers seek It too.

I have met great teachers, gurus, saints, mystics, healers and shamans. They proved that what I sought was the greatest adventure. A most worthy one that a human could pursue.

Where do the words come from?

The ecstatic body surges in meditation, chanting, reciting mantras, that arise from the floor through my body, or the wooden canoe paddle ,when gliding in silence, at sunset across a blue-shirred, frog chorused lake.

Overwhelming waves of love sent across the cosmos hit me, and I let them flow through me, to you and the universe, last night from Steilacoom.

Where do those come from, friend? We all have them. Where does love come from? The source of IT?

I have been sure since I was a little girl that I was sent here to be happy. It was the last thing whispered in my soul before I arrived in this Cosmos. I know this for sure.

My ever challenging, changing, whirling void that I am swimming in, toward the waterfall, that sweeps me over the edge, into a new pool of energetic, fulfilling words, places, friends and lovers, is encapsulating my days, enchanting my nights, writing my poetry.

I talk to spirits and energies, in prayers, Tibetan chants, mantras and dances in the moonlight,  that drift across the Cosmos, to uplift and comfort. Travel, writers and poets, musicians, artists, mystics, philosophers, scientists, ecologists, and farmers inspire me to soul-reaching depths,which pour out on pages and pages of paper, and 0 1 computer codes, from my right hand,  that you can read here. I am changing, and I cannot describe who I am becoming and am not afraid. Thought I should warn you.

All things must change to something new, to something strange.

~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Like my Greek ancestors’ creation of Alpha and Omega, the search for the beginning and end of all, this laptop and all that it does is only a transformer for Zero and One, 0 1. We are 0 and 1, in our cosmic makeup. All our creations come from something and are released into the Void which holds IT all.

They must often change who would be constant in happiness or wisdom.~ Confucius

Gazing into Infinity

copyright2011, Danise Codekas

It might seem a little strange to be reminded about how great life is, even though, the soul walks through valleys of travails and unexpected, personal challenges. Today I was reminded about the perfect timing of the universal consciousness as I spent the day on a native reservation, looking at a herd of deer, with their new born babes frolicking across fields at the base of mountains, which lie beneath the Bering Sea, and touch Russia.

I began to feel lighthearted again. Powerful and lighthearted, as is my natural state and yours. Sometimes I have to fold into myself, and be alone. In truth, though, I take all you with me. That is the way of the world. We are all in this together, however, there are mountains, valleys and oceans and abilities separating us all. Yet, we are all here, together.

Whenever I begin a new practice, which involves re-vamping my entire physical and spiritual behavior, things change quickly. Paying more attention to food, exercise, meditating, and re-visiting spiritual gurus, monks and mystics, helps to shoot me into an entirely new level of personal power and my life’s mission moves along a bit quicker, with very little left behind to wonder about, as the past gets let go and the moment is all that matters and is relished and honored in wonderful, open ways.

Meditating daily, walking, writing, dancing and chanting mantra’s brings me back to the source and the true nature of the universe. It contacts the source of all, the creator and destroyer of the universe. The Shiva Shakti of evolution and the unlimited source of creativity. It is a no shit connection with that which is true, and makes me sometime yell out,

Holy Shit, I cannot believe how good I feel when I do those things which brings me to myself.   It makes no different how long goes by, the breathing, mantras, yoga, tai chi, Celtic dancing all pull up energy from the center of earth and being and connects to the energy falling into my body, mind, singing powerful soul songs into my heart.

The earthquake under the English Channel, today, is a precursor of things to come. A group of investigators left the US for England, today, to find out why the number of Crop Circles in the UK has increased dramatically in the past few months. Sightings of many are now being reported by the BBC, which include numerous reports from commercial airline pilots and passengers.

Usually, they show up if there is going to be a big earth event, in order to balance off the energy displaced when a major geological precursor event kicks things off, like today’s earthquake. Glad I was not on Eurostar under the Chunnel. Oh, we never talked about UFO”s? Well, get a grip. I have seen things of great power, magnitude and speed up above me, or along the horizon, as I am sure you have too. Just don’t talk about it too much. Isn’t life incredible?

I am undergoing some big changes now. They come from me burrowing in to the spiritual, for a while. Me releasing the past and letting go of things which have been holding me down, were not being used, and my art, my writing is demanding full time focus, laced with self-creative expression with the cosmic forces.

I am re-reading some of the Vedas, opening the 4 Agreements again, and researching some ancient archeological connections to the Black Madonna, which I spent a lot of time on seeking in Argentina, France, Canada and Mexico. And why do I have this urge to go to Portugal and Crete? Crete, has always been on the list. Portugal? Hmm. Lisbon.

I find, as you may in your daily mediations, chanting, praying, that the more you focus and do it, the more incredible resolutions to issues appear, or whispers from above come and say, go here, don’t go there. Move there, don’t move there. Crazy sounding am I? You expected another communication sociologists’ view on the latest Harry Potter movie? [“They” say it is good]. I am going for a walk on the beach in the rain, instead.

Sorry, today, is a day to dwell with the divine, the holy, the reasons for living, the reasons for staying or going. Connecting with those of like-minded awareness. Upheaval, change, wiping away the past, embracing the present, and leaping onto a slow wave heading into the sunset of my dreams.

Standing here alone, thousands of feet above the planet’s floor, I know my power, my oneness, and I melt into absolute oneness with all that is, was and will be forever. I breathe, float into the sky, and touch infinity.

Re-arranged by Our Hearts and Souls

copyright2011, Danise Codekas

“The only reason for time is so that everything doesn’t happen at once.” – Albert Einstein

Thank God, Einstein had such a great sense of humor. I cannot imagine what his mind was like with all those numbers and equations running around, however, I do know it was a simple mind filled with great wisdom.

This past week it felt as if everything was happening at once. The changes I desire are being created in a way I had not expected. I think I am on the hot seat these past few months, which is burning my butt, big time. There is a raging going on that is going to cause me to pull up roots, relocate and finally become the change I seek. I cannot believe that LA is looking interesting, as a relocation spot. I would have to be at the beach, or up Topanga Canyon, somewhere. Think I could find a nice spot at Malibu?

Oh, this is crazy says the calm woman, who has walked through hell a few times. The woman who has taken off for places unknown, alone, and trekked into mountain villages and sat in quiet seas, smiling at the setting sun, even though her past had been ripped too quickly from her, weeks before.

Making the changes in quiet, without telling anyone works really well, usually. It is not like I have anyone to report to on the planet, except those I love, and they know that the unexpected sometimes generates unlikely expected results in their understanding of my life’s path.

“If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading.” – Lao Tzu

Lao Tzu had it right in this thought of his. Probably as he was sipping some Pu’erh Tea, which is so damn good. Yunnan Province is where I want to drink tea, for a while. The center of an incredible herbal cosmic universe for the world. Pu-erh comes from Yunnan. Go to the source.

“It’s kind of fun to do the impossible.” – Walt Disney

It is, you know. I have no idea how I am going to juggle and balance the challenges in my life, over the next month. It seems almost impossible, right now. Yet, the urge in my 3rd chakra and 4th, the heart center, is knowing it is time to move, change, let go of the old.

So, I need to take a Chakra Test, which is something I do once in a while, in order to see where I am blocked, open and over-exerting myself in my life.

I take it when the void is opening up and the changes are starting , and I have stopped trying to stop them. Nothing that came up surprised me, and if you understand your cosmic connection to the universe, not only from a physical sense, but also eternally connected to all that is, was or will be, you might want to take one too.

Relate it to what is going on in your life. It helps balance things out, when you can see that everything you do, affects where you are at ,what your body and energy system is revealing and reflecting from the outer to inner worlds and back again, and who is now walking along side you or who will be coming to walk with you.

Wisdom and love balance us; self-understanding and courage, lead us to miracles.

“You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

Results from My Chakra Test , 7-14-2011

(Chakra test and explanations, copyright E. Berkers)

1. Root Chakra –Fear-The right to be here

Root: under-active (-6%)

The Root chakra is about being physically there and feeling at home in situations. If you tend to be fearful or nervous, your Root chakra is probably under-active. You'd easily feel unwelcome.

2. Sacral Chakra –Guilt -The right to feel

Sacral: under-active (0%)

The Sacral chakra is about feeling and sexuality. When it is open, your feelings flow freely, and are expressed without you being over-emotional. If you tend to be stiff and unemotional or have a "poker face," the Sacral chakra is under-active. You're not very open to people.

3. Navel Chakra—Shame-The right to act

Navel: open (38%)

The Navel chakra is about asserting yourself in a group. When it is open, you feel in control and you have sufficient self esteem.

4. Heart Chakra –Sorrow -The right to love and be loved

Heart: under-active (-12%)

When your Heart chakra is under-active, you are cold and distant.

5. Throat Chakra—Lies -The right to speak and hear truth

Throat: over-active (69%)

If this chakra is over-active, you tend to speak too much, usually to domineer and keep people at a distance. You're a bad listener if this is the case.

6. Third Eye Chakra—Illusion -The right to see

Third Eye: over-active (69%)

If this chakra is over-active, you may live in a world of fantasy too much. In excessive cases hallucinations are possible.

7. Crown Chakra –Attachment -The right to know

Crown: open (56%)

 

The Crown chakra is about wisdom and being one with the world. When this chakra is open, you are unprejudiced and quite aware of the world and yourself.

Percentages go from -100% to +100% .

---end of Chakra test data

The thing about chakras, they always show you exactly where you are moment-by-moment in connection to the cosmos. As below, so Above. As within, so outside.

So, my crown chakra, 7th, is open and I am feeling aware of me and the world. I am telling the universe I have the right to know everything and I am getting all the answers and hints I am ready to digest, utilize and put into action. Nothing is being denied me at this time.

6th chakra, sure I am a bit in fantasy land, as I am imagining a new life, and seeing new possibilities for what I will do with it.

5th chakra is over-active as I am asking questions of the universe, ignoring those who are fearful, for me, to make changes, so my ears are kind of slightly closed for some rest. I have always been aware of my right to speak and hear the truth about myself.

Knowing when people are giving me good advice vs. people, whose advice is based on jealousy, fear of letting me go, or outright stupidity, is being not-heard, in my self-preservation mode.

My energy, which I need to get me to an entirely new life style, geographic location, and network of human interactions, arrives at its true desire, resonating with all the life inside of me, to the new life I have chosen.

I need to know the right advice will be given from the right guides sent to help me, no matter what form they take. Watch the signs, pay attention to symbols, recognize when the same place or number keeps appearing before you. A  new cosmic map has arrived in consciousness. Read it, follow it

You do realize we are in a full moon cycle? As I have French ancestors, it is also independence day in France, so my body, mind and spirit are celebrating the tri-color, in powerful, self-independent fashion.

4th Heart chakra is cold and distant and that will change as I re-balance, once the destination is clear. I don’t know who is there to help, love and assist me in that new location.

Leaving those I love, for those who will have to learn to love me, is kind of scary for my little heart, right now. However, I know love is there. It exists for me wherever I go, in many forms, including a male .

3rd, 2nd and 1st chakras are saying I have the right to change my life, since I have the right to be anywhere on this planet. I am getting a bit uptight, as my feelings for wanting to uproot myself are being called to account, and so I am shutting down, pulling away now since I have to let my heart and soul lead me.

I understand what is going on and, like you, it will be an incredible new journey, with unplanned stops, incredible vistas, and a wild ride at light speed. Nothing is ever created, nor destroyed. It is simply re-arranged by our hearts and souls.

“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it’s worth watching.” – Unknown

 

Chakra test link below.

http://www.eclecticenergies.com/chakras/chakradotest.php

A Life That Got In The Way

copyright 2011 Danise Codekas

I am reading about food in SF restaurants. Chocolate cake covered with chocolate, coconut ice cream. Long noodles and shrimp, grilled to perfection from a favorite restaurant over near South Beach. What is it about summer, that starts the taste buds dreaming,even though surrounded by fresh strawberries and Dulce De Leche covered alfajores, on this warm summer's day? Could it be that my life got in the way, and I forgot about those tastes which have led me to some amazing places for food, around the world?

I once spent an entire 3 weeks chasing and eating ice cream by driving down the Wailua Canyon Road to Kappa for a nightly, taste orgasm, for scoops of  Lappert's White Chocolate Macadamia Nut. I spent this weekend visiting a goat farm to meet the goats and meet the cheese making family,  because I fell in love with their family-made dill goat cheese. I am planning on spending a weekend learning how to make cheese, and get to taste different local wines, with fresh French bread spread with creamery butter which is made by a relocated Parisian baker, from the Marais district in Paris.

A friend has signaled me to join he and his new love, in San Fran, for a few days in order to partake of some food events that they will attend from SF to Mendocino. I asked him, why me, when they have all those rapid foodies jumping up from the mushroom patches, up and down the coast. He said that I make the most appreciative sounds when I eat or drink something superb. He said I look like I had really good sex and they can always tell when food is good, through the moans I make.

Yes, I moan when I eat. I come from a family of food connoisseurs. Chocolate and ice cream makers whose stores and restaurants, on the east coast made dentists very rich and happy. We owned cookie companies, too. My mother and father, in their travels around the planet, chose the best wines and ingredients for meals, which we still beg for on our birthdays. I have eaten on 5 continents, and remember meals, or drinks, finished under a rising sun, waning moon with a satiated smile.

I have eaten in places recommended by food editors, only to be sadly disappointed, since the one or two dishes reviewed, did not include the Chicken Dijon, which proved to be yuk. Yuk is a good word for ill-prepared, dry chicken that cost 45 Euros. Cheap, I know by some Arles standards, however, it was my dinner. The bad dinner garnered an invitation, to a local, family-owned gastronomical wonder, who prepared one of the best roast goat, cooked with pears and apples, ever tasted in Southern France. This dish jump started moans and beatific facial expressions for an evening, which earned me a wonderful, perfect creme brulee.

Sometime life does get in the way.You find out there was something it was leading you to, that you would have missed, had you not been disappointed, which led you to get all fired up about finding that perfect meal, or perfect word. Life is supposed to get in the way. How else do you know you are alive? I see a lot of women complaining about men who are breaking up with them.

The women fake light-heartedness, joy, and cop an attitude that it was a wonderful experience, and so much learned, and we are going to be such good friends and keep doing tai chi together. Then, a few weeks later, the break down occurs and they start making the guy feel guilty so he might re-start with her, and save her from her lonely, sad self. Of course, a lot of men do go back and then after a year or so, it all erupts again.

I think they are fools, since the reasons they broke up were always evident. They chose not to look at them because of the high they were both experiencing with bragging to all their friends on Twitter, or lots of sex, or glowing in feeling like a power couple. They crash and burn so fast. They were never in love and simply in love with the idea of love and not being alone. It takes a really strong man to admit he made a mistake and back out of an engagement, when he realizes the truth about the woman.

Realizing it is not love, is just as hard as knowing when it is. The trick is to understand you can make a mistake with the old paradigms in your head, and a woman can walk around with a fairy tale prince ideal for her entire life. She will adore you, give her identity up, to lure you into marriage, and then if all else fails, post bikini shots on her web page, tell people you weren't ready, and act like she never had those insights into the fact that the relationship was not working from the get go, especially after having 4 or 5 repeat performances, with you, across the years.

Do men just get tired of looking for the right woman, for them, and give in to anyone who will close their eyes to the discordant notes of the relationship? Maybe men do get tired and just settle. God, you could be with someone who settled for you because he was too tired to go after exactly the woman he wanted and be happy. I have screwed up relationships.

I am a human, remember. I cannot imagine choosing someone because he was rich and famous and good in bed. True, I would be a fool, not to, however, it all comes down to that real connection stuff, that no money, fame or sex buys. That moment of looking in someone's eyes and making that connection from the pit of your existence.Does that happen anymore? Or are we so excited about how cool it is to be read by so many people, on our web pages, which attracts some pretty cool people, who may be highly interested in meeting and hooking up, for a while, that we forget that it really does have to be human touch. There has to be a meeting and a standing in front of, in order to know if the energy is real between the two of us. Doesn't there??

A Life Got In The Way of mine, many times. We were drawn to one another for various reasons, attractions, needs. Those lives which got in the way of mine were there to help me get to here. I stopped and spent time with them for a while, and cannot say I regret those stops along the way, because they do not matter any more. It was just an experience which my life needed in order to grow, bend, stretch, dissolve and renew. Just like a yoga pose.

Here in the first position, then bend my flesh around my bones and bring more breath into my lungs and heart, and feel pain somewhere I cannot touch, and release a breath, relax and take in an entire new gulp of air molecules which blast me into the heavens. Kind of like a taste of Gracias Madre's perfect Chocolate Cake with cacao-cinnamon sauce and toasted coconut ice cream.


It all looks good, tastes delicious, however, sometimes you need to sample each part separately and see how it all fits together. I have made some great choices in my life, too. I like to remember them. I am glad a life got in the way, so that my taste refined, my body drew towards true attraction of a man, and there is one less sad woman's blog, stating "it was his fault he was not ready" crawling around the internet.

If a life gets in your way, well, you stopped at that cross road, on the road you chose to meet that life on. Quit blaming someone else, who did not love you the way you needed to be loved. It was your game that produced the results.

Our Souls’ Needs

copyright2011, Danise Codekas

“We are free, truly free, when we don't need to rent our arms to anybody in order to be able to lift a piece of bread to our mouths. “ ~Ricardo Flores Magon, speech, 31 May 1914

Another Holiday Weekend for the USA and the sun is shining in Steilacoom. The Roadsters are all lined up in town, and streets blocked off the street fair and parade. The fun run up Chambers Creek will be great since visibility to the Olympic Mountains and Vancouver, BC beyond is pretty, darn incredible!

The view from the back deck is amazing and I am enjoying the laughter of my great barista, here at the cafe, as she wrangles laughter out of all her customers. We are all in high spirits. Some, higher than others, so it seems, from the beer cans in hand, walking by.

Looks like a few friends are not in good moods and want to burrow in and pull the covers over their heads today. I am heading for my sister’s farm, where 2 horses, 2 cats and 1 happy Dalmatian await head pats, finger foods and walks to the pond.

Will have to head back to the house and block off the driveway so no one parks here once the fireworks begin at 10pm, otherwise, I will need to park in the apple orchard which will disturb the moles who are digging up dirt piles, this week. They keep the ground under the 100 year old roots, aerated and that is good for old trees.

I am trading organic apples for organic tomatoes this year, with my neighbors, and that is a really good thing. 100 bushels of apples and 40 bushels of pears, from my trees, will garner me some organic spinach, eggplant, cukes and squash from neighbors. Bartering is Better, is the motto for the summer of 2011.

Seems my first boyfriend’s antics arose in my memory banks, this week. I was working on Chapter 9, of my book, when out of the blue he appeared out of the mists of time. Strange how the brain works, and how a perception of someone changes when the truth of the matter is understood.

Realizing what I should have done with him, and of course, that being when I was 17/18 years old, well it is easy to go to a woulda- coulda-shoulda-type of mindset.

So here is what I have come up with from the little trip down memory lane. OK, yes, he was the “first” and if I need to explain that to any of you, then you need to go turn on your black and white TV set and plug in that 8-track cassette.

No, I do not remember what “it” was like,and occurred in Chambersburg, PA. The motel was called the Dirty Goose, although true name was the White Swan, and Penn State students frequented it frequently.

I realized, this week, when I caught him walking along the river road with the French exchange student, the summer previous to when we did “it”, I should have not seen him again, when he came racing up our driveway to “explain” why he was holding her hand.

He also her took her to his prom, as we met in April and the prom was in May. That was his reasoning for having to keep his commitment to take her. yes, I was naive, and thought the sun and moon set and rose on his dappled biceps.

He loved old cars and had a primo Studebaker, and collected them over the 1 year we were seeing each other. When I came down with a vicious flue, my 2nd quarter at Penn, and was sent home to heal, he stayed on to finish out the semester with a 3.5GPA and my dorm neighbor, next door, as his new squeeze.

Of course, this was not revealed to me until I returned the next quarter, when my dorm mate sat me down, my first evening, with a bottle of tequila, something to smoke, and very slowly revealed the way in which Lyle lied and laid, a lot, with Valerie, while I lay recuperating, 4 weeks at home.

In order to divert me from committing dormicide, my roommate and her boyfriend, attending GW in DC, brought his spider monkey, George, to spend the week with Melissa and I. George was a great divertissement, and the night I caught Lyle crawling through Val’s window, around 2 am, I knew it was time to change dorms, schools and geographic location.

I have found over the years, that a change of location, after the end of a relationship is a wonderful way to clear your mind and get re-balanced. It is healthy. I think I have moved after the end of all relationships, of any length, now that I think about it. Good thing I love to travel.

The reality of the situation is that we all bury memories about past relationships, that had uncomfortable ends. Eventually, those memories arise, when we least expect them to appear before us.

One of mine popped up yesterday and I began to realize how all relationships, which involve sex, change me, and maybe you, too. When sociologists came out, with the idea, of 3 to 6 degrees of separation, lies between humans, they also researched the idea that we have all had sex with one another. Seems it has been proven,depending on who you read, with DNA research.

So, what can we do but enjoy that which we love to do, with the people we are with in the moment. We are all connected under the firework's skies tonight.

Lyle is long gone, but I can say there must have been a reason for us to meet and be together at the White Swan, on that September 9th. Probably because it was my birthday.

So, my freedom to be me comes from struggles with life, love and the desire to follow a soul purpose which drives me on creatively. I imagine that those who came here not in the pursuit of land, but in the pursuit of their soul’s purpose which needed freedom to create and breath, also would understand how I would roam the planet, when faced with knowing that someone, I believed in to be truthful and faithful , was not.

We all search for freedom, love, and great joy in our life’s work. We are motivated by creativity, and beauty.

We seek peace, art, nature, music which moves us and inspires us. We do not seek to suffer, but reach for joy. Like those who came here, to find their joy, hundreds of years ago, we, like the pioneers of old, are still seeking that freedom, with those who appreciate and sustain our souls’ need for the same.

We on this continent should never forget that men first crossed the Atlantic not to find soil for their ploughs but to secure liberty for their souls.  ~Robert J. McCracken

Singing, Dancing, Laughing

copyright2011, Danise Codekas

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.- William
Shakespeare, Sonnet CXV1

 

Woke up at 6:15 and began reading and brewing coffee. Turned into one of those days where looking for a piece of paper, turns into a major cleanup of a previously solitary section of the bookshelf that had not been touched since 2009. Why are all those airline reservation sheets still holding space, along with some old utility bills and website passwords, whose sites have never again been clicked upon.

I did add 20.00 to my Good2Go pass for the Tacoma-Narrows Bridge tolls, so it was a productive morning, for this lazy, rainy, summer day. Solar eclipse on Friday, so I expect somewhere on the planet there will be shakes and rumbles.

The energy will effect our brains, and shed light on confusing, immobile situations on our lives. You might want to burrow in Thursday and Friday, so that whatever the universe is trying to lead you to, through illumination, on your hidden desires and needs, gets to you, without unbalancing your hard-headed nature. 

Continuing down whatever path of destruction, you are walking on, pretending not to know, where you  should be heading, will be stopped suddenly by the great cosmic energies, balancing out the earth, with you on it.

4th of July parties abound, however, if you have noticed, parties are not the same anymore, since you began to realize happiness is something different than what you once believed, when you were 22 or 33 or 77.

As you drop your load of bullshit, which was used to seduce, inveigle, and charm strangers and lovers, the realization that you are still seeking that which will bring you happiness, begins to incite you to be real and let it all hang out. It being, your true nature and profound words and songs.

Why aren’t you happy? Maybe you are afraid that you cannot have what you want. That man or woman you once saw in a crowd, you thought about for a long time, lives too far away; has their own life and you are afraid to bump into it; or, you truly believe you would make a mistake about someone who could be perfect for you.

It applies to all the dams of existence in your life that you are desperately trying to keep from collapsing by putting your finger to hold it up, rather than your heart and truth. I even feel like I am full of crap, sometimes, and then I realize it arises out of a fear to engage and pursue something my heart desires. We all experience this paradigm.

Only now, in this time of change, we are being thrown out of our beds in the morning, by a cosmic scream to get real with ourselves, get into our true lives by releasing the false in our lives.

End the pain of false relationships, unfulfilling creative endeavors, homes, or locations on earth, which do not support your need for a healthy existence, and the belief, that if you cause pain to someone, because you know the two of you have finished your karmic dance, and you depart, that you will be admonished, and cursed, by that person, or those that know you.

WHEN, it is time to leave, a wise person realizes it is  the best course of action. It is not my, nor your, responsibility to be the singular source of happiness, for anyone on this planet.

It is up to you and me, individually, to be happy through our own free-will choices. Only then, can two souls join, in wholeness, to enjoy the gifts and efforts, of their lives.

God help anyone, who believes that carrying guilt, and accepting humiliation, cast upon them, by those, who fail to see their soul’s wisdom followed. If you heard your soul scream, “hey, you, this relationship is over. Go!”, Please do not wander the planet thinking you are screwed, and return to the one you left, if it gets too lonely or harsh out there. The Cosmos is just cleaning you up and polishing your heart up.

Relationship patterns are being re-run quickly, in our lives now, and completing old, karmic relationships, help you to understand, that you cannot go back, again, to her/him/it,  because you have graduated karmically. Your lesson; your karma.

Go back, and you both will click that rewind button, on your psychological disabilities, and have to muck through, again, with her/him/it for a few months, years or lifetimes. Let it go. It is done.

Pain, guilt, unfulfilled expectations, that both of you keep sharing with one another, bury you both, until you finally succumb to your need to support one another’s dysfunctional habits. You could marry someone, simply because you are accustomed to their pain, and how you both inflict it upon one another.

You will marry, or live together, because you were afraid that someone else would be no better. What a useless, wasted life, even though it is your choice and lesson.

Two people with half-hearts, and addictions to one another’s pains, always look for happiness, elsewhere, by cheating, lying, stealing one another’s life energies, or by burying themselves in materialistic wanderings around the planet.

I guess, you, paragons of unhappiness, are serving humanity, by showing me that I never again want to be with someone, who is with me, because he is uncourageous, and cannot walk away, without guilt.

I was usually the one, who left a relationship, because the men were not able to admit they were not happy, or the both of us were too frightened to admit, our time was over. Being with a brave man, who has the guts to leave, no matter how hard I may cling, will bring balance to us quicker, than staying together, out of loneliness, guilt or habit.

There is something that is trying to come out of my brain and heart today, on this topic, and I am probably explaining it, in a convoluted way.

My apologies.

There are too many couples clinging to one another, even though they are unhappy, unfulfilled, killing one another’s creativity, drowning each other in unrealistic expectations, financial security demands, or just plain possessiveness, and they do not want anyone to have the object of their desire, ever.

Passive-Aggressive, Dysfunctional Caregivers who are draining the life-blood from their partners, and calling it LOVE. A woman I know has lured her wealthy boyfriend back to her 3 times, over the past 8 years. She sucks his blood, and as he tries to build his life, then she lifts her mask, he sees her true self, then, he breaks off with her, again. I think I will use the Sanskrit phrase: too much fire. They burn together and never fall to earth, to help new plants grow. Too much fire always smothers new life.

She plays at being his friend, for a year or two. Then, like the prow, of a destroyed sail boat, she floats back to his beach, and offers him solace, on what is left of her bulkhead.

She mimics him, to seduce him, again, and pretty soon, his soul starts sighing, for happiness and wholeness, because she burns faster than he. Then, the games begin, since she is not getting what he cannot give, as he does not love her. He is simply addicted to her seductive dance, and when he begins to hear the tunes in his head, rather than her sirens songs, he leaves again.

I guess Odysseus was lucky to escape the Sirens’ song, wasn’t he?

"Their song, though irresistibly sweet, was no less sad than sweet, and lapped both body and soul in a fatal lethargy, the forerunner of death and corruption."-W.C. Perry

You get the idea.

Hope they can both be happy, apart, and wholesome soon. I guess their patterns bother me because I hope none of my old one’s, from the past, if a man brightens my life again.

I think my writing, especially the work on my books, brings to the surface of consciousness, the subtle, psychological nuances between humans that I am noticing now. Or, maybe I just need to go to a Rock Concert. That must be it.

If you have a Box Seat available, in the VIP section, for the MUSE, August 7 concert, in Mountain View, CA., please send ticket, RT plane fare from Seattle, ASAP! of course, my life is guided by unexplained occurrences, wonderful serendipities, and the belief I was sent here to be happy. This woman needs some singing, dancing and laughing!

(DC, POB 594, Gig Harbor, WA. 98335)

 

 

WINDOWS, Venice Beach, CA.

Sing Your Death Song

copyright2011 by Danise Codekas

The Subaru had its emission test today. The car wondered why some guy was sticking a hose in the gas tank that tickled, and did not emit liquid into its hoses and pipes. Then, the car became a little tight-hooded, when some woman stuck a strange pronged instrument into its brain cells, under the dashboard.

My car and I are always upset when someone touches it that is not me or a certified Subaru mechanic. You just never know what kind of computer viruses can be transferred between American, Japanese, German and British cars at the DMV Emissions Stations. Maybe coasttocoastam.com has done a show on it and it is another black  ops program, fostered by the One World Government coalition, without our knowledge.

In any case, the SUB passed with flying colors. I am so not going back to Toyota!

Choices we make determine our lives and the quality, thereof. I love that word, thereof, as I do the word, cherish. I also like my last name which translates from the ancient Cretan, as code of of the soul. Kas, is soul in Greek.

I am at my favorite coffee place, Forza, today, checking the emails, glancing at jobs in California, Hawaii and Washington, and just made arrangements to head to a prayer wheel, tomorrow, that is taking place around the NW and Canada, with the epicenter in Olympia, WA.

I was invited and guess it is time to step into the intentions of the Native American tribal elders, who are calling for a gathering to balance the earth and the wild, destructive meteorological and energetic energies, bombarding all. Heart, minds, souls, earth ohm’s, radiation levels, illness, and maybe a comet or two heading this way, so I may as well get out of the chair and stand by the waters of the Puget Sound and drum.

Whatever the intentions, they are for the good of all and it is time to step out and hold some energy, with those who are well-intentioned and aware, of the powers which are colliding against one another: forcing all of us to make choices and decisions, unexpected in time.

These choices are forcing us, you and me,  onto our true life’s missions, with better intentions, holding no more guilt about what we have to do, and who we choose to do it with.

You are all changing partners, companies, homes, notes and words, that demonstrate you are walking your true lives’ paths.

It is hell for some. Nerve racking, stepping out onto those limbs, and the incredible thing is, that it is you and me and the connections to our hearts and souls, that we are finally listening to and following, which make it impossible, to miss the mark or the face, of our true love, work, mission and location on earth.

The dreams are coming true now, as braver we become through each breath. We have been stripped, beaten, submerged and exhausted, by the toils and pains of our labors.

We are through the birthing process of our lifetimes, and giving birth to our new lives. We are creating, as Creators, not students of the universe.

Celebrate your history, your scars and revel in the fact that you are creating the life, with the people and tools, you know are the right ones for you.

Yes, I am scared about the unknowns of my life, however, I am not regretting any parts of my life. I have not lived my life with ill intent. I have fucked up, made mistakes and screwed up royally. However, it was never with ill intent. I was learning about my heart, soul and this place I landed on, so long ago. I came to a planet, and had to deal with you and all its vagaries. I was sent here to be happy. So, I have believed, perhaps foolishly by some. But there is more joy and beauty on earth, when I follow my heart.

What an incredible place it is, isn’t it? I love this earth. Love the sun, water, mountains, lakes, animals, and most humans met. To be able to lay on the soft grass and gaze at an entire universe, while spinning at 25,000 mph, is pretty cool. Gravity is cool.

Applying to the earth to keep us stuck on, and now applying it to our lives and choices brings us to a more cohesive and caring community mind-set. It’s nice here. Hope you are enjoying your day today, or at least the part of it where you breath, laugh, and know you are alive.

The other best thing about the Olympia, WA. gathering, tomorrow, is another farmer’s market and organic, miniature carrots.

“So live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart. Trouble no one about their religion; respect others in their view, and Demand that they respect yours. Love your life, perfect your life, Beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and Its purpose in the service of your people.  Prepare a noble death song for the day when you go over the great divide.

Always give a word or a sign of salute when meeting or passing a friend, Even a stranger, when in a lonely place. Show respect to all people and Bow to none. When you arise in the morning, give thanks for the food and For the joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, The fault lies only in yourself. Abuse no one and nothing, For abuse turns the wise ones to fools and robs the spirit of its vision.

When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts Are filled with fear of death, so that when their time comes They weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again In a different way. Sing your death song and die like a hero going home.”-Tecumseh - Shawnee

The Doe and the Rose Bush

copyright2011 Danise Codekas

What is it about dreams that seem to follow you about the day? Had one last night and it was all too real. I could touch myself in it and it was me as an old, old woman, sick and dying. Just an internal memo from the higher self to kick into gear my new exercise program now. Not that it was a scary dream, only that it was so clear that if your body is not cared before, you won't be able to care for yourself when it falls apart and you are still breathing. Simple data, no?

I did a lot of driving today, through valleys and up mountain roads and realized I need a chauffeur. There is a point where holding the wheel after 2 hours seems pointless. Would be nice if the wheel was mind controlled. I could sit in the seat and give the name of the exit I want to get to, and the car would go there. We have expanded the technological advancements in the automobile. It is now time to hook up our bodies and brains to those computer chips under the hood.

I watched a friend fry eggs and bacon, the on hood of his old Chevy pickup, in the middle of the Sonora desert one day. If you can cook eggs and bacon on a car hood, then surely they can install a mini-micro oven behind the back seat of my Subaru. The back seat should fold down to reveal a laminated top,with utensils sheathed inside plastic tubes along its sides. Instead of a back of a seat, a mini oven warms some brie, roasted red peppers and french bread, for snack time.

The ability to have what we need, when we want it, seems to be stalled in human development sequence. The reverse is more true, during these times of world financial keep-your-eye-on-the shell games. Now, most people want something and have no ability to have it. More people are beginning to pull away from the false impressions impressed upon them by their social groups, friends and fans.

We are crawling into ourselves and away from preconceived ideas of what we are to others. Trying to satisfy what someone thinks I should be doing is a futile exercise in madness. You may know about this experience. You decide to be with someone, for instance, and before you know it the next thought about where a relationship is headed is dictated not be your personal insights and true beliefs. It is guided by an other's ideas, of what your life or commitments should be like, which become staid, de-evolutianary and uninspiring, if you are not able to pull you head out of your butt, in time, to realize you are doing something you really never wanted to do.

Of course, some of this is your fault, of course. Like you were lonely, scared, frightened, thought it would boost your career or sell some books, or Cd's. Thought it would be cool. I rode a number of waves, in ocean's created in other people's minds. In the end, thank god, the undertow grabbed me and held me down, until everything put in my head, by other's words or beliefs, was gone. The first breath became filled only with my own air. No one else's.

I am really pushing myself to the edge this past month. I create scenarios with these old beliefs stuck in  my head, and ingrained into the cellular memory of my body, and kind of just let go of being rationale, reliable, responsible and retaliatory. I am being peaceful.

Maintaining breath in the whirl of self-created immolation and destruction, in order to arise without anyone else's beliefs dictating any of my personal movements or decisions. It is really hard. I am thinking I might appear a bit crazed to some people.

My body always reflects, to the outside world, exactly what is going on internally. even yours does. Trying to hide what is in your eyes, or tension in your muscles, is impossible. The acuity to read one another, physically and emotionally, over the past two years has expanded exponentially in our human psyche's, as we race toward another leap in human development.

Anyone still eating fruit and vegetables covered with petro-chemicals and grown on land pumped full of agri-business bio-waste refuse, needs to wake up fast. What you put in your body, feeds your mind. Failing to put the most natural into your body, holds the entire human race back from achieving higher potential. What we put in our mouths and chew and use for energy, either brings about genetic evolution for the species, or holds us all back until a un-specified millennial, DNA evolutionary event.

I sat and watched as a tractor gathered the new felled wheat from a large field near Grand Mound, today. They had rolled about 20, 25 ft. high, round wheat bales. They probably had another 200 to go, based on the acreage of the field. It felt really good just sitting and watching them gather and roll the bales, into ever larger rounds, like big, thick cinnamon donuts, with the hole filled.

Watching a part of my food chain process became a moment of wonder, for a few minutes. I know some of you like to sit and watch your tomatoes grow, moment by moment. For me, watching a baler roll hay, or a group of wild horses jump across a gully, is how nature gets me to honor it. Today, a young doe, feasted on my two rose bushes beside the front door. I looked out when I say this long, sleek tan hided body, standing on the front porch.

Her head was just rocking back and forth as she went from from rose to the other, and by the time she left, about a dozen roses were gone. I didn't care. I have loads of roses. She was getting the best meal of the day, by the way she was eating with her eyes close, totally blissed out. I had never seen a deer on the porch before. I am glad my roses are a delicacy for the deer kingdom. I sat in my chair, by the door, and watched her for about 10 minutes. I was as happy as she was because she was beautiful and happy.

Simple elegance, food, emotions, relationships are what I seem to reaching for now. What about you? Too much drama? Not enough peace? Smell the roses, do your tai-chi, walk barefoot across the creek, and keep your hands on the wheel, until you come up with something better, that keeps your life, as your life, and not a stranger's dream.

If you love someone and still cannot tell them, then you may as well quit kidding yourself about the fact that it was meant to be. It will never be until you take action. If they were the one for you, the only one the universe sent you and you walked on by, then stop kidding me and yourself, you are still looking. True love comes rarely.

Once in a lifetime is a humongous event. Twice, in a lifetime, beyond any equation. If you are with someone, you realize does not meet you as a whole, 100% heart, then they will drown you, until the big undertow comes to rescue you, again.

Never regret ending a relationship that your entire physical and emotional system says is toxic for you and your mission on earth. Most people stay in toxic relationships and you know many of them. Bravery and Courage is always required when acknowledging true love. They are also required when it is not anything else than an illusion, created by you, because you were afraid to do the right thing. 

All that is happening in the world is we are creating our own reality and finally we all know it. No one to blame for your unhappiness, depressions or fears, except your own failure to follow your heart. In order to follow your heart it would be a good idea to keep it as healthy as possible until you give yourself permission to become a whole, loving person again able to receive love from another, as you. You cannot use a group's mission, another person's needs or your past history as excuses for that which you know you need in your life now.

You or I do not have time to fool around with the speed with which our cosmic destinies are coming at as, every day a new one hits me, and I do not have time or energy to hold onto the past and grab the present. either take the present moment and make it what you are, give it what it demands, love that which it offers, or head on back to the farm, and plant some new seeds, if there are any left. This cosmic dance is you and me dancing together with every molecule across the universe.

Affecting one another and loving each other. Evil always seeks to destroy itself which means that once it is gone only love exists. Go for love, health and staying in present time, with your heart and feelings. Anyone comes along who is willing to walk along side of you, without requiring you to carry them, that's the one you want to be with.

That is the one you will be having fun with and the one who will understand the real meaning of joy. Joy is good. That is what we are made of and it is that which you and I stop and feel in those moments in the fields of regeneration and expansion and while we gaze in delightful amazement, smelling the rose bushes of life.

The Big Sell

copyright2011 Danise Codekas

“Through wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established; and by knowledge the rooms shall be filled with all precious and pleasant riches.”

Where is the wireless network router? Sitting in Starbucks and cannot grab the connection. Do I walk around the store with laptop in hand and try to find the connection that sticks? I see the bars blinking in the bottom left hand corner of the screen but the red X’d monitor icon keeps blinking on and off.

There is a man trying to sell his company’s positions to 3 men, in their 20’s. He is building their desire by mentioning the flights they will taking to the East Coast and how he flies into Miami and rents cars driving to Ft. Lauderdale and Palm Beach and hooks up with girlfriends in San Diego. Slick.

You can see the excitement in the men’s faces as they are hoping to catch a job that not only pays them millions, it also allows them to escape their uninteresting lifestyle. He is really selling the job, however I am waiting to find out how big the check is that they will have to up front to latch onto this incredible opportunity.

As is true, women sometimes know when a guy is selling something that smells like dog doo. A woman is sitting at the table next to this guy, and she is now openly listening and staring at him, and right before she became so obvious, grinning, she said, “Yak, Yak”. I cracked up. This Starbucks is small and has about 15 tables. We can hear the spiel.

How many times have things been offered to you that seemed to good to be true? And admit it—you jumped on some of them. Seems there are a lot more carpetbaggers wandering around the depressed suburbs, filled with empty repo’s. Cities slick with lights, money and valets are dimming lights, as rows of empty business fronts no longer light the way.

Restaurants lush with the laughter of those affording the $800 dollar bottles of champagne and cognac, offer split bottles of $160.00 wine now. And favorite patisseries and elegant chocolatiers are cutting business hours and elegant paper doilies that once lined the Spode china.

I am depressed as this things made me happy. Spoiled American woman deprived of her favorite blueberry éclair and Starbucks lacking an extra router for the corner I chose to sit in. How can we live without such necessities?

Outside Madras there is a fabulous garbage dump that if all the garbage was spread out from west to east, it would reach half way to the moon. I once visited a man and woman who lived in the garbage dump. They raised 4 of their children there. They were also raised there and so the city on the dump became a place where, once in a while, politicians visited because a large number of their constituents resided there.

How I came to meet such a family is one of those stories travelers store up because if you travel, there is always an experience which is unlike anything previously encountered.

Their home had 3 rooms, made out of refuse, consisting of wood, metal, cans, paper and things which were indefinable. I had tea and we ate rice and vegetable soup before I was escorted back to the city streets of Madras, where I boarded a bike taxi back to my hotel.

There were men and women with little stoves selling food and tea and juice in the dump. Some had oil burners to light their location. Like Union Avenue in San Francisco, one garbage street had mini-lights lighting the way. They had a generator that 100 or so families shared use of and funds to buy kerosene whenever a high caste person came for tea.

If you did not realize you were standing on one of the most filthy, largest refuse places on earth, you could imagine a smiling maître d’ seating you at a table made from upturned baby bed, 63 upturned and glued soda bottles for a table top, and a chair which had a mickey mouse emblem on its back.

The lady who was working at the café proudly had me walk behind the makeshift shack which served as the café kitchen, to show me the 8 refrigerators lined up that held various teas and other implements and cookware, salvaged from the dump. There was no Wi-Fi, unfortunately. So, I had to downgrade their Michelin Rating from 4-star to 3, that day.

Yes, we have all tried to make more money, or find an easy way to get more, sometime in our lives, and lived to tell the tales of failure. We have married, dated and seduced by flashing bank balances, May Bach's, and 23 carat diamonds that would lead one to our un-realistic beliefs about what a comfortable and peaceful life is for us.

I knew a man once who actually told me that he would not date me because he wanted to buy me things, he could not afford. When I asked him what things he was referring to, he mentioned things that were evidently seen by him on Lifestyle’s of the Rich and Famous. It was our 2nd date and all I really wanted was another chocolate mousse.

Unfortunately, he was wrapped up with lawyers and bankers and arguing with his mother about increasing his monthly allowance from 6,000 to 9,000 a month, because Stanford was such an trendy, expensive place. I think he was nuts.

But then, unfortunately, I always ran from me n who revered money, or talked about what they owned more, than what was in their hearts. They are too high maintenance. And yes, I never asked him, for anything more, than another chocolate mousse.

So, I have the right corner to sit in, here, at the café, the router is over there. The 4 men, who were trying to see if they could increase one another’s wealth, have left and I am left with an empty vanilla latte cup, and a 10 minute ride home.

Maybe you could remember a time when you faced someone who was poorer, dirtier, less educated than you, who, surprisingly was more generous in their treatment of you, kinder in offering you more than you needed, and wiser realizing that joy, when shared, no matter the amount, becomes that which, when remembered, enables you and me to not wish for what we do not have, but be grateful for what we do.

There is nothing worse, in my mind, than to be looked upon as if I needed sapphires, diamonds and gold. When all I, and probably you need, is love and a cup of tea. Oh, the tea that was served me in the Madras Café? Earl Grey, because they thought I was British.

What Do You Really Need? It's On Its Way

copyright2011 Danise Codekas

Some days seem like "no" days. Negatives arise which prevent you from rolling through the 24 hours, easily. Issues which affect me, and others, begin to eat away at my confidence as I try to understand what it is that I ,and those who know me, need from me. After all, they would not love me if they did not see something love able in me. Right?

Today is one of those days, when everyone I dealt with did not want to give me what I wanted. It felt as if every time I tried to make an appointment, get a quote or pay a bill, a negative would arise. When this happens, more than three times, on the same issue (in this case getting my hair washed and blown [so girlie, I know]), I decided to let my long red hair, rest quietly in repose. I would not walk into another hair salon, and my 2 favorite stylists would have to remain booked for another few days.

When you have hair that is 2 feet long, you have to understand it takes 40 minutes to blow dry, and that is if you are a professional. I faint dead away holding arms up, and flat iron and dryer after 15 minutes. These hair stylists are my hair angels. Someone suggested that I cut it. Go on, get it cut. You'll be much cooler this summer. My answer was that air conditioning was invented for me and my long hair. That is why  I paid an extra thousand, for installation into my Subaru, and why that lovely hum, revolves around my home, during the summer's deep heat, above the Puget Sound.

It all comes down to a matter of love. I love my hair and I love the fact that after years of short hair, I finally let it grow and the hell with people who wanted my curly, red frock to remain on my head, because that is how they knew me best.

I feel sexier, healthier, and smile, at myself, in the rear view mirror, as it flies out the car window, when I am blasting the stereo with calypso, rock, Chicago blues or a fine mind expanding CD from St. Martin's in the Fields recordings, from London.

I purposely re-routed a trip to Rome, one frigid Christmas Eve, in order to attend the evening Christmas Concert at St. Martin's. It was worth every penny to sit in the ancient chapel, candle lit and ivy covered, and smile from the balcony as the wonderful symphonic musicians thrilled us all to Bach and Beethoven. Even the 200 dollar cab ride back to the airport, didn't cause me any stress. The experience was worth every penny, as are all dreams, when answered and fulfilled.

Love is like that, sometimes. Love of self is  important and having to walk away from something or someone, that you know no longer satisfies you is a good thing to do.

It saves your heart from feeling as if there is something lacking in it. It leads you to the one, or the thing, the next note, the next word, that will better satisfy you  with happiness. Sometimes, you wander in doubt and hurt, for a while, until that which is meant for you to love, that person, or animal, or life's mission, reaches you. Embrace it and understand it was always meant just for you. Let go of the fear. Then you realize you were always expected, it was meant to be for you.

I thought about love, last night. I do not know who that man is that will love me. He might already love me, super-consciously, and is just afraid, as I, to say those words, seek me out. It just seems as if all these twists and turns of my life are leading me closer to that dream, which once met and fulfilled, will be understood and recognized as the only path to love I could have walked down.

Isn't real love like that, though? Those words, forsaking all others, come to mind. I believe he is out there and, like my hairdressers, who are busily taking care of other clients, today, he has other things to do before he arises before me. I hope though, he loves himself well, before he arrives and is not looking for his other half. I do not want to be an other half, for him. I have been with other half's and I was always half unfilled and half-seeking something to fill that part of my heart that was half empty.

Whole man, whole heart, 100% flinging his energy into the world. That is my dream of who he is. No more warning signs flashing around us. Just recognition of a changing world around us, that we both embrace as we stand with arms around one another. Sunshine and bliss.

So, what started out to be a day of  the universe saying, "no hairdressing, today," becomes a realization that something or someone else is destined to arise before me. So, I will head down to the Steilacoom Farmer's Market, this afternoon, and seek out my favorite goat farm, farmer's cheese. Hoping, that after a year apart, the chevre goat cheese still exists.

If I had my hair done, it might all be gone by the time I arrive at the market. So another reason for knowing that today's "No", was just the universe showing me there is a great big piece of "Yes" waiting for me to spread on a rice cracker.

Get It? Game Over!

Copyright 2011, Danise Codekas

A very great vision is needed and the man

who has it must follow it as the eagle seeks

the deepest blue of the sky. --Crazy Horse

What a life this is! Never know what is going to happen next. Felt like a whole lot of shaking was going on and then instead it turned out to be that water pipes were blocked under the house. I think it was those field mice, getting back at me, who I scared off this spring, exacting some revenge for losing their little nest off the mud room, behind the sinks.

Now it seems that it has a more universal cosmic meaning. You did not think anything that is happening in your life right now is anything less than a manifestation in the physical to show you where you are going if you stay on course or move off course, did you?

I have stopped the outflow of energy because it is time to balance internally in order to operate with due diligence in the world now.

With volcanoes erupting at violent force in three areas, no four, today, storms and rivers destroying entire food production areas of the world and ongoing bereavement ceremonies for the destruction of places on earth humans once held as safe, did you really think that a simple thing as a pipe being blocked under a house does not have significance to my internal, spiritual enfoldment?

Think beyond the material reality you are seeing and realize it represents something your soul is trying to understand, heal or manifest. It has nothing to do with simple explanations, any longer.

What I am learning is the amount of water I can subsist on without depending on outside sources. Because the flow is blocked out of the house, cutting down on water usage became an immediate act. Now, water is flowing from bathrooms fine, however the kitchen sinks seem to be where I am wasting the most water, as I think about not being able to pour water into the drain.

It has forced me to stop buying any boxed foods. All food coming into the house for the past 9 days are simple, organic forms of life. Washing pots and plates take on a new dimension, so cutting down on preparing cooked (loses healing properties) and using knives to cut fish or meat, requires that my intake of fruits, vegetables increases and also the elimination of most forms of breads, crackers or pasta.

So, my body is incredibly lighter which is something I am always in tune with, anyway. However , now, should an earth changing event occur I do not need to rush away in order to gather food or water for needs which have been lessened and replaced by simpler requirements, due to a water pipe blocked from the house to the sewer in the street.

I waited until I understood the reason this blocked water pipe situation was created by higher self. There is hardly any situation which occurs in my life,especially in the past 6 weeks, in which I fail to ask the question, What is the real meaning behind this, what am I trying to see in my soul? Why am I calling this situation into my life?

None of us have time to fool around playing our games of the old paradigm, any longer. It is time to  “Get It” and time to say, “Game Over”, when we see that our lies, no longer serve us.

Who are you, today, without looking back into the past to drag up old, ancient histories about cruelty, slavery, atomic bombs, old wars, old hatreds. Now, today, with this energy in this moment, in this moment, what is the choice and action you must take to create peace in your soul?

Make it. Pick up the phone and make the call. That person, family, business who you failed to commit to, say you love them to, remove them from pain, help them to live a little longer, remove a little stress, buy a can of tuna for the next meal.

You know what you should do. You know who you need to tell that you love them as you know who you need to say good by to. These events are being taken out of your hands by Mother Nature’s eruptions because nature is no longer allowing destruction or giving us any more time to make excuses for a few more government agency votes, to conserve a few more gallons of water, to stop making plastic bottles.

Nature is no longer waiting for any of to Get It. There is no 2012 destruction coming, as so many are wailing about. Honey, it is here now. Earth, Wind and Sky are erupting, storming, drowning, cycloning across, within all points on the earth.

We are all in it. No more wake up calls, for our appointment with mother nature’s attacks, and ministrations,  to save herself. The planet shall not be destroyed in 2012. It will be cleansed and in doing so those who cling to her shores, mountaintops and ocean bottoms shall be caught in her ministrations of cleansing.

Class is over. The real life results, of what we have all caused lies before you and me,  now.

If you close you eyes to what you are creating, because of your actions, every moment you breath now, you face falling back onto a chaotic, insane field, joining those who are marching, in fear- based cadence,  to the  Mass Chaos and Delusional Beliefs Symphony, Number 2012.

It is about evolving into higher consciousness and acting from those sights of self and soul. It was always about you. It was never about them. Enlightenment first; then share.

The belief that the earth, and the soul of the universe, support  old paradigms, held in place through fear, jealousy, blindness to corruption, destruction of nature, blindness to human and animal misery, show you to be a fool.

To believe that you will not be touched by all the current earth changes and depravations, allowed on this planet, by all of us (we are all in this cosmic dance together and our joining produces what you see in your backyard, the news, and at the bottom of a land mine) through  silence and failure to act from our hearts and what our intuitive voices are trying to lead us to now.

If there is anyone you need to tell that you love , you might want to go ahead and do that. People are not waiting for you to catch up to their transformations.

If you love someone and you are using their past and your past as excuses, to not grab them and run through the new paradigm together, we are swirling in, now,  at millions of miles of hour you might miss the greatest adventure, and the only love of your life.

We are all on one hell of a ride now. The Cosmos, and all of Creation, are rushing to heal, from our lack of personal responsibility, faster than it has ever done before.

Earth School is closed for the summer, and summer lasted about 3 billions years.

Tools are here, in our hands and voices to stop lying, hurting, and destroying one another, and the earth and its creatures. If you think that that old paradigm, of fostering guilt upon everyone because of past hurts, still works with everyone on the planet, get over it fast. We are becoming wise and separating from those surrendering to those who seek destruction.

The sheep are in the abyss and more are following everyday. If you rebuild your house in the same place the flood destroyed it at, it shall be destroyed again.

This present moment holds all the possibilities of bliss, health and peace. Sitting in a yoga posture for 3 hours no longer is effective since you have the power, now in this increasing cosmic energy system energizing Earth,  to bring peace into your life and body in a single breath now.

Joining large groups with one agenda or another, no longer support the universal request that each individual perform right action, act on life missions, from the center of their soul.

You do not need a group to tell you what must be done, do you?

You know what you are supposed to do next. ( I will call the plumber, as the blocked drainpipe experience occurred in order to write this blog. It was time to heal a past belief which blocked my flow into a higher, conscious paradigm).

Quit hiding inside your old history. The old pains caused by old lovers and spouses. The awards and recognitions not awarded. The life you should have had which will never be. The man you wish could love you, but will never because you never spoke your heart. The woman you desire more than breath, but are afraid to be loved, by her. The friend who deceived, the accident which destroyed a life.

They are all in the past. You are in the present. What or who do you want in this moment with you? Who do you want to hold, kiss, make love to or touch, in this moment now? Do you even know if the next moment will come? Of course, you don’t.

Get it? Game Over!

Dear Spirit, tell me what it is which I must know first.-Kyron

THINK ABOUT LIFE: Helping Someone Else

THINK ABOUT LIFE: Helping Someone Else: "Link"

Helping Someone Else

copyright 2011 by Danise Codekas

A true piece of writing is a dangerous thing. It can change your life.-Tobias Wolfe

It takes a lot of time and energy to write a book. I often wonder, sitting in a graduate or research library, if there isn’t more info, I need, based upon the numerous citations, books, articles covering whatever topic I happen to be researching, which have not been examined.

I should live in a library, since the past 2 weeks, I have been spending a lot of time researching, and shaking my head when some query comes up nil value.

I think there are special times during the year or, maybe in life, when research perfection arises, with the correct query terminology. And the primary results display across the screen, or in the file.

It is heaven when it does. Who has time to research 642,000 references on the same topic, just because one of the words in the query happens to be cockatiel? Not that I have ever researched that word, however, I imagine you might after reading that sentence.

It is May 16 and I realize that, for many, the end of their high school and college years come to an end, at graduation. The apple trees are blooming in my back yard and the 100 year old lilac bushes are smelling good. However, I am at the library doing research on publishing sales, specifically, eBook sales.

Since writing is my thing, knowing where the industry is heading helps me make some decisions in my career, like next manuscript or which publishers. This year contracts and eBook royalties are part of my writing life challenges, and I always like to know where the industry is heading before I buy a ticket on the publishing super-highway.

Back when, I dated one of Buckminster Fuller’s relatives. Fuller is one of those people who amaze me, as a creative genius. I will build and live in a geodesic dome soon. Soon, is a relative term, as the world moves from one eon to another. Maybe I should just say that before my death, I will spend time in a geodesic dome.

With all the time I have spent designing the perfect dome life, over the years, soon that little architectural wonder will house me for a while before my last walk on earth.

Alex Hailey, once said, that every death is like the burning of a library. Profound and true, as far as I am concerned which makes it imperative for me to enhance my research skills. Having too many secondary resources is worse than having only one primary, I believe.

At least, I feel that way today, since all of the research has led to secondary data, and the primary answer or template I need to enfold a lot of info into, has not made an appearance, yet. Guess, I will have to write THAT book, too.

Back to Bucky Fuller, who once asked: What can I do that isn’t going to get done unless I do it, just because of who I am?

Now, it is a relatively innocuous question, until that last dangling phrase, that one after the comma. Unique consciousness, no one on the planet like you challenge, and, perhaps, a raison d'être to finish writing a book, quit screwing around trying to pick a color for the porch, or the 14 songs you need for your new  album, or waste any more time deciding on what you want to do for the rest of your life.

Whatever you choose, it will be exactly the right thing because that is who you are and you are the one with power to do it. It is when we begin to believe that the person next to us can read our soul that stupid decisions are made that never reflect, who you or I really, truly are now.

How many times has a friend or spouse, jumped in to help you make a decision, because you did not want the responsibility, and the end result was unappealing to you? Many times, I would think.

Many times people will compliment me on my writing talent. They think it is some kind of a gift from the goddess and I woke up one day and, like Beethoven, it was mine. Well, that is true. Not the talent, though. The knowing it was mine. It is what I did. I wrote.

I also became a voracious reader and will spend weeks, months, at a time, reading in preparation for writing. Thomas Mann said that a writer is someone for who writing is more difficult than for others. Steinbeck said that a good writer always works at the impossible.

I am working on the impossible this week. Everything I start, whether fiction or non-fiction is an impossible work of art which somehow displays on my screen, or on the page, from my 5th chakra. I can always feel my fear of revealing what’s in my head or heart, in my throat chakra. A writer is a typing, scrawling, chakra clearing dynamo.

Whenever I am getting close to an answer, revelation, or final chapter, my entire life seems to tilt, for a few weeks before. In this instance, it has been for the past 2 months. My life has been shaken up, hosed down, and I am watching it all happen, Life happens like that for us all. Seems random however even random has reason and results and consequences.

Now, it all makes sense. The research, the challenges, the fear about me, my life and my writing. I am close to a change, in the throws of changes  which are transforming me, and my writing life.

I knew there would be a reason for this book, at this time. A different reason for why I started it. That’s the way  book is. You get a reason t write it. But once it is done, the real reason is revealed. Kind of like the surprise ending.

It really had nothing to do with readers. It has to do with me.

As Anton Chekhov once wrote, a book ought to be an ax to break the frozen sea within us.

It was April, when I was in the Bering Sea. I watched the glacier walls collapse, into a blue-green,shimmering sea.I was mesmerized by colors, rainbows, and the enormity of frozen monuments, sculpted by cosmic-creator power, unlike any mass seen.

And, like my trip through the Bering Sea and old Russian island landscapes, or working on a new piece of writing, or designing the perfect geodesic dome, my life always comes down to one idea, or two, which seem to bring me back to the true meaning of why I am here, apart from the bills, research, gasoline prices or dead dictators.

This week is simply to get things in order so I can be freer to create.Nothing holding me down that does not support my energy and my lifestyle. Boxes of saved papers, books no longer used, boxes of old computer cables and floppy disks, never to be used. What about the electric typewriter?  Should I let it go? Sell it? IBM Selectric II with 10 different font balls. MMMMMM.

Know that whatever, I or you, are creating is healing me/us, expanding our consciousness and may even help someone else in the world.

May this suffering serve to awaken compassion  – Prayer to Qwan Yin