Everything is connected... no one thing can change by itself.
~ Paul Hawken
copyright2011, Danise Codekas
Last night the Beatles were playing in the park. Actually, 4 guys who go by the name Abbey Road, and played after the farmer’s market to a crowd of 300+ residents, friends and family.
Remarkably, the drummer has the best voice and he was also British, or maybe Australian, but the accent was there. Paul, John and George should have let him take the lead on all the songs. A reverse incarnation for Ringo would suit.
Something about hearing old, familiar tunes that everyone knows, and the largest dance jam, yet, for the summer concert series, arose, and rocked out through the 90 minute concert, above Puget Sound, and below V formations of Canadian Geese and soaring Eagles, above.
I turned to my friend and asked, “Is this all there is?”, which was a very philosophical question, that welled up, after they played Back in the USSR. The great life changing question is a precursor to a new design for my life. The daily events are coalescing into a huge, super-conscious download which I have been reaching for all my life, and I am watching my moments closely now.
I know you all have been reading me and I enjoy the feedback you send me in emails and phone calls. There are things that I have to do on my own and this change that has been coming to me, has arrived and all I can say is I bought the ticket and waiting for the spaceship to show up that will whisk me into an entirely, self-created newness. I cannot tell you what or where it will be, however, it involves writing, music and a new place, somewhere, not here.
People change and forget to tell each other.-~ Lillian Hellman
I am in the eternal, cosmic,void of consciousness change. It comes as my meditations deepen, my attachments lessen, and my understanding of what I need to do--write the secrets in my heart, and capture those sentences, which come down from above. That unknowable, eternal center of the universal mind, inspire and feed my unquenchable needs to reveal unnamable ideas, on a laptop screen, a blue lined paper tablet, or on a blank cover, on a matchbook.
The blank cover of a matchbook holds 2 book titles, that revealed themselves to me in the middle of a 7-11, one night, as I went in to pay for gas.
I am more than my words, deeper than the explanations of those mystics ,and holy men and women who gave me information about those things, of spirit I have constantly sought and write of or allow to seep into my stories and manuscripts, now.
If I were to say what ended most of my relationships. with men, I would have to say that they lacked the desire to pursue their own mysticism. They did not seek the unknowable of the universe. You have to be brave to pursue the unknowable.
There are no warning signs in a dark jungle except the sound of something rustling beyond you. I froze in the Ecuadorian jungle one night, at the same moment realizing the writing I was doing was causing the same fear to arise. I had to keep walking to get out of the jungle. I have to keep writing to get out the words. It is who I am.
Change and growth take place when a person has risked himself and dares to become involved with experimenting with his own life.~ Herbert Otto
I need to seek that unknowable. A man who does not understand my desire and passion, and who does not thirst to know what this cosmic, extraordinary, ever evolving creation, we all are held in, would not stay with me, nor I with him. Hence, here I am alone, again, walking across the planet.
How can I honor a relationship, with a man who does not seek, see, and know there is more to his body, things, or life’s work? He becomes a finite mind; not and infinite possibility for me. He must seek infinity and the answer to his being.
All those broken, creative, exciting, challenging relationships you or I have had that no longer exist, as once they did, through our passionate embraces, or wild longings, could never have worked for the simple reason that your soul and my soul were seeking something more.
The people we were with did not have that same passion and desire to know what is going on, in the universe, and what it is that is creating, every new moment in our breaths.
Giving us the words, the sounds, the miracles of its presence reveled through our dreams, our writings, lyrics, poetry, dances, sculptures, musical notes, and brush strokes on canvas.
Whoever undertakes to create soon finds himself engaged in creating himself. Self-transformation and the transformation of others have constituted the radical interest of our century, whether in painting, psychiatry, or political action.~ Harold Rosenberg
I stopped believing that my relationships ended because someone lied, cheated or just was not interested in me or visa versa. Last night, in communion with all that is, while listening to music, a cosmic laugh from the universe blew me out of my chair at the concert, whisked me off the the heavenly, blue field sky, and I knew those important men of my past, were only touchstones on my path of seeking. All important, all my choosing.
We were on a path together, seeking an answer to our existence, our next direction, for a while. Then we needed someone else and the universe would send somebody, when there was only a thread to hang onto sometimes, in my life. What about you? When did the universe send you somebody, when you were stranded and just ready to come apart?
Our desire to know more about the unknowable, that energy which keeps all patterns, molecules, and paradigms in place as the universe, changed for us both.
I wanted to change the world. But I have found that the only thing one can be sure of changing is oneself.~ Aldous Huxley
I left, again, on my flying, winged journey, through time and mystical meanderings, and they went their way. Most of my relationships ended because they did not understand my need to seek.
I feel universal power, flowing through me, in everything I do. I know that all religions and ancient wisdom-keepers seek It too.
I have met great teachers, gurus, saints, mystics, healers and shamans. They proved that what I sought was the greatest adventure. A most worthy one that a human could pursue.
Where do the words come from?
The ecstatic body surges in meditation, chanting, reciting mantras, that arise from the floor through my body, or the wooden canoe paddle ,when gliding in silence, at sunset across a blue-shirred, frog chorused lake.
Overwhelming waves of love sent across the cosmos hit me, and I let them flow through me, to you and the universe, last night from Steilacoom.
Where do those come from, friend? We all have them. Where does love come from? The source of IT?
I have been sure since I was a little girl that I was sent here to be happy. It was the last thing whispered in my soul before I arrived in this Cosmos. I know this for sure.
My ever challenging, changing, whirling void that I am swimming in, toward the waterfall, that sweeps me over the edge, into a new pool of energetic, fulfilling words, places, friends and lovers, is encapsulating my days, enchanting my nights, writing my poetry.
I talk to spirits and energies, in prayers, Tibetan chants, mantras and dances in the moonlight, that drift across the Cosmos, to uplift and comfort. Travel, writers and poets, musicians, artists, mystics, philosophers, scientists, ecologists, and farmers inspire me to soul-reaching depths,which pour out on pages and pages of paper, and 0 1 computer codes, from my right hand, that you can read here. I am changing, and I cannot describe who I am becoming and am not afraid. Thought I should warn you.
All things must change to something new, to something strange.
~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Like my Greek ancestors’ creation of Alpha and Omega, the search for the beginning and end of all, this laptop and all that it does is only a transformer for Zero and One, 0 1. We are 0 and 1, in our cosmic makeup. All our creations come from something and are released into the Void which holds IT all.
They must often change who would be constant in happiness or wisdom.~ Confucius
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